Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Author: Tai Fenix Kulystin Page 52 of 66

On Becoming a Phone Sex Operator

I recently have begun looking into phone sex operator (PSO) work, and with the guidance of the wonderful Ellie Lumpesse I have applied at a few places, and ended up getting a couple offers, one of which I have accepted. Master just faxed in my contract to them today, and so I’m hoping to start work tomorrow. I’m both excited and nervous for this new and very different opportunity! I have chosen to get into this type of sex work for a few reasons.

In looking for a new job, as I have been for the last few months, I have come to the realization that in order to make the kind of money I would like here (in Utah, as that is the tricky part) I would have to change my appearance and personality, basically I would have to hide myself. Now, that is not to say I wouldn’t have to do the same things doing PSO work, obviously there can be quite a bit of roleplay involved, but it is a much different type of roleplay.

I have worked and continue to work a lot on my appearance and personality. I am constantly learning about myself, my desires, my likes and dislikes, and all sorts of factors which go into what I consider to make up this entity which is me. I have done a lot of exploring via this blog, and other blogs, and just in my head. I have come into my own in a very distinct way, and I really to believe that I am constantly learning and changing.

However, I also believe that just about any place I would find acceptable to work here in Utah, with a few exceptions (though none which are hiring), would also not allow me to be me, I would have to pretend to be conservative, straight-laced, and professional, as well as dye my hair, cover my tattoos, and wear clothing I wouldn’t wear otherwise. This isn’t necessarily bad, and I’ve done this before for most jobs which I’ve had, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, what goals I have, what I see myself doing down the road, and basically I do not want to be schizophrenic. What I mean by that is, I don’t want to have to be a different person at work than I am at home.

With PSO work I may have to be a different person than I am, engage in some roleplay, something like that, but I would always be me, because the roleplay has a much different purpose. I will be able to help others explore their own (often hidden) fantasies, while exploring my own sexuality as well. In some ways it’s a lot like sex therapy for both myself and the client, both of us being able to act out a fantasy that might not be accessible otherwise. I imagine this will be a highly rewarding for someone who enjoys finding and exploring the sexuality of others as well as my own sexuality.

When I told a few friends of mine that I was getting into phone sex work, after asking about the money one of them said “well, if you’re going to degrade yourself, you might as well get paid well” or something similar. It was kind of glossed over in the conversation, as I think I was the only one who heard him say that, so the others went on to something else, but it made me think.

I really don’t view PSO work or any sex work as degrading when done for the right reasons. It can be degrading for some if done for various reasons or if forced into it, as some people are. However, I do believe that someone can actually choose to get into sex work and find joy, pleasure, and happiness in it. I also believe that it can be empowering, which is often thought of as the opposite of degrading. This is part of being sex-positive, in my mind.

I have yet to have my first day, as I said above, I have a briefing scheduled for tomorrow and hope to start shortly after that. I’ll no doubt report on how I feel about it post-first day, and if any of my feelings regarding PSO work or sex work change. I’m very interested to see how I grow from this experience, and I hope to find out new things about myself and about others due to this decision.

Review: The Miracle Massager- Better than the Hitachi?

I was instantly intrigued by the Miracle Massager as it claims to be superior to the Hitachi Magic Wand. I’ve had many many vibrators over the years, and I (along with pretty much any other person who has tried it) absolutely love my Hitachi and believe that it is the best vibrator around. So you can imagine my interest in a massager that claims to be better than the Hitachi!

Here’s the run-down: according to it’s VibeReview pagethe Miracle Massager claims to be better than the Hitachi in three ways: size, erogonomics (design), and heat. Now, I’ll go through each of these one by one:

In terms of size the Miracle Massager is definitely superior to the Hitachi. When I first tried the Hitachi I was a little overwhelmed at it’s size, but the Miracle Massager is nowhere near as intimidating. The toy itself is quite a bit lighter than the Hitachi and the head is smaller and therefore easier to fit into the little nook and cranny and get it right against your clit. Not that the Hitachi is bad for this, but it’s definitely easier to do with the Miracle Massager.

Second, as it says, it’s “ergonomically superior,” meaning the overall design is better, and I highly agree. It’s much less bulky than the Hitachi, and is much easier to handle and maneuver. The Miracle Massager has a smaller diameter than the Hitachi, it curves slightly for ease of use, and it tapers at the end as well, which is really handy and makes it much easier to hold. The curved handle makes it easier for me to grab and the tapered handle means that I can move the toy against me with less effort than the Hitachi.

I also like that the controls of the Miracle Massager go off-low-high, unlike the Hitachi which go low-off-high. A slight difference, and both placements have merits, but with the Hitachi in order to go from low to high one must turn it off completely, which can be irritating even if it is just for a short second. However, this is highly a personal preference, and both designs do have their own flaws. One thing about having it off-low-high is that in order to turn it off from high one must go through low first, which can also be irritating.

Lastly it claims to have fixed the temperature problem which is the biggest issue I have with the Hitachi. Basically, the longer the Hitachi is used the hotter it gets, which is not really a plus in my book. Luckily, that’s something the makers of the Miracle Massager have allowed for, and so the Miracle Massager does not get nearly as warm as the Hitachi, even over long play sessions. This means you can play with the toy much longer, which is always a good thing!

I agree that the Miracle Massager is superior on all these points, however, it is not superior in the most important aspect of any vibrator and that is vibration! The vibrations of the Miracle Massager, while strong and enough to get me off, are not nearly as strong as those felt by the Hitachi. From what I can tell, the High setting on the Miracle Massager is just about equal to the Low setting on the Hitachi. This works fine for me, as I often have my Hitachi on low when I’m playing with it (though I love the high setting as well), but for those of you who need and love the strong vibrations that the Hitachi provides, this toy may not do the trick!

Basically, I love this toy and will continue to use it when I don’t feel the need for the crazy strong vibrations of the Hitachi. It is easier to handle, and doesn’t get as hot, which are big plusses in my book, plus it got me off (and easily too). If you don’t need the strength of the Hitachi on high (or feel the Hitachi is too strong for you), then I highly recommend this toy to you, as it would still feel great, and is superior to the Hitachi in design. However, if you are one of those people who needs the awesome power of the Hitachi’s vibrations, I’d stick with the Hitachi and pass over the Miracle Massager.

Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview

Coming next Masturbation Monday: The Miracle Massager Attachment!

Semantics Sunday: Domina

Semantics Sunday is the day for me to write my own definition of a word, how I feel about a word, and how it relates to me personally and my own identities. This could be anything sexual, gender, bdsm, and poly/relationship oriented, or anything else I feel like throwing in. This is simply my definition and understanding of the word, and not meant to be the only definition that is or could be. If you have an alternate definition, if you agree with my interpretation, or if you have something to add which I left out or which needs correcting, feel free to let me know in the comments!

For my first Semantics Sunday I figured I should use a word that is near and dear to my heart. Since I have already given my lengthy definition of cuntpet I decided I should focus on the other of my identities: Domina.

I recently created a new channel on irc.bondage.com, where I am quite frequently, called #Fiery_Dominas. This is the first channel with Domina in the channel name, which is part of the reason why I started it, however it has inspired comments such as “What is dominas? Dommes plural?” which is relatively ridiculous considering for one thing, Dommes is Domme plural, and for another thing Domina is a fantastic and real Latin word, unlike Domme, which is a slang term.

Now, on one hand, I feel there is nothing wrong with slang terms, and think that they should be used and incorporated, and Domme basically incorporates Dom and Femme (as in french for female, not queer femme), which is not horrible in general, and is rather logical. However, now that I have discovered and embraced Domina, Domme sounds silly to me, it is nowhere near as linguistically luscious or regal-sounding as Domina is, and it doesn’t inspire the same awe. I also feel that Domina is a much more feminine term than Domme, which is partly why I’m so partial to it as well.

Basically, Domina comes from the Latin root dom- found in other such words as dominate, domify, domicile, and domestic, as well as domin- such as dominant and dominus. From various sources I find that “dom-” actually relates to a household or realm, and the actual Latin translation of Domina or Dominus (the male counterpart), is “Lady or Lord of the house/realm.” This makes sense, considering dom- relating also to words such as domicile and domestic. The prefix domin- alone (supposedly) indicates regal status, such as Lady/Lord, or Mistress/Master, which is why Domina is the feminine and Dominus is the masculine (the suffix -a being feminine, and the suffix -us being masculine).

This brings us to the question, if we use Dom and not Dominus, why should we use Domina and not Domme? Well, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t ever use Domme, I’m just saying that I don’t want to use Domme, and furthermore, we could use Dominus as well, should a male dominant desire to be called that. I’m not going to condemn others for using the term Domme, but I do not identify with the term and will not be using it for myself or for others unless specifically requested.

Review: A Venus You Will Want to Worship

Since my (first) HNT picture just yesterday featured her, I figured she should therefore be the first toy for me to review from the lot of toys I received from VibeReview last Friday.

From right out of the box I fell in love with my Vicky Venus, she even came with a little packet of lube, and I’m always a fan of unexpected additions. She is soft and smooth medical-grade silicone, which (in case you don’t know) means she’s made of one of the best (and one of my favorite) materials for sex toys to be made of. She’s non-porous, hypoallergenic, and easy to clean with just soap and water or can be completely disinfected via boiling and you can even put her in the dishwasher. Though because she’s silicone she should not be used with silicone lube.

I was expecting her to be a solid scarlet color, like her picture on her VibeReview page, but instead she is a gorgeous pinkish red with white marbling in her, which I think just adds to the Goddess-y feel of her. The marbling changes her from appearing silicone to something that could actually be in a museum, a not-as-voluptuous Venus of Willendorf (with a wide base), or simply a gorgeous Goddess Venus figurine. While I’m sure she would be gorgeous a single color as well (as she is in the first picture I saw her in) I do believe the marbling adds to the beauty of her form.

She is gorgeously curvy, but not so much that it’s irritating when she’s inside, quite the contrary in fact! I would go so far as to say her curves are not only in just the right places, but create just the right sensations! Her body ripples with her curves from her hands above her head down to her legs which transform into the base and each of those curves enhances the feeling of her inside. However, because of her curves I wouldn’t recommend her for anal play unless a good cleaning has occurred beforehand, just because with all those crevices she could get a little dirty.

She’s has about six inches insertable length and is not terribly wide, “.5″ x 1.44″ at widest point” according to VibeReview. Another really nice thing about her, also, is her base is nice and wide, about three inches across and nice, thick, and stable, which makes her easy to maneuver manually or to slip her into a harness and go to town (see above re: anal play, though). I can just imagine getting my gorgeous femme goddess cock orally worshiped! How perfect and fun would that be?!

My favorite part of this dildo is that right before I got her I had just been talking about my desire for a new femme cock. Now, she wouldn’t be my main femme cock, but she is definitely a femme cock, there’s absolutely no question about it. She’s sleek, sexy, femme-inine, silicone, gorgeous, and feels amazing!

Over the last week within which I’ve had her, I’ve played with her a few times on my own, and once with Master (and just gazed and awed at her a lot as well). While I don’t always need lube for most toys, when I have a toy that is curvy, ridged, or bumped I like to add a little just in case I need it. Toys like that can be painful if they aren’t lubed up enough, and while I know I will probably naturally lube-up quickly, I like to be on the safe side.

While this dildo is definitely a work of art, she, like a true Venus: Goddess of Love and Pleasure as she is, she definitely delivers the pleasure as well as the beautiful package it comes in. I highly recommend her to anyone who enjoys their dildos in fun shapes, or who would enjoy having a goddess-figure dildo, and those who love a lot of ridges or bumps in their toys. She’s definitely worth worshiping!

Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview

July in a Glance

I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

In July I posted as many times as I did in June (24), the highest numbers which I’ve had since I started the blog. I started getting a lot more feedback, and had a good number of visitors, so I’m very happy about all that! I really love feedback, even though I’m rotten at giving it to others.

The general timeline of July, as well, included me discovering and embracing my switch side, and therefore also my Domina side, which I delve into in a few posts, and there are many more coming. Master and I were less bumpy than we have been in previous months and have settled into a really nice dynamic, and he is very supportive of my exploration of my Domina side, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our dynamic.

There were so many things that I wanted to post and didn’t get a chance to, but hopefully that will change in the coming months, I’m trying to be more focused as well as productive with this blog and I hope it happens! I also went to my first local play party and began to review toys for VibeReview in addition to my reviews with EdenFantasys which I started in June.

Now that you’ve had a general overview here is the specific post roundup, going down the subjects of the title and subtitle of the blog, aka my identities and my posting topics:

fem(me)inist

sex-positive

fat femme

  • A mention and information of the (Queer Fat) FemmeCast, something which I think everyone should listen to, regardless of size, orientation, or gender.
  • My analysis and musings about my move from my previous butch cock to my new search for a gorgeous femme cock complete with lots of links to deliciously sexy dildos.

queer poly

  • Some delving into my personal feelings and visibility issues regarding my identity as queer and being with a male partner while being femme-identified and still embracing the queer label.
  • A fucking fantastic pansexual genderqueer video titled Fagette by Athens Boys Choir. (Just posted yesterday)

cuntpet and Domina

  • I wrote about my favorite BDSM/kink site in my Ode to FetLife (where I am an official greeter, so if you sign up you might be greeted by me) and also posted the information about a call for submissions for Bound to Struggle Vol. 3.
  • Near the beginning of the month I realized and started exploring my identity as a switch, which is something I had never embraced previously, and then near the end of the month went on to discuss the discoveries I had regarding my newly found Domina personae.
  • In between those two posts I wrote about the first play party which Master and I attended together, and my reluctance and desire to become part of the local BDSM community
  • I ended the month BDSM-wise with a naughty little retelling of the night before, when Master and I played a bit with the cunt/brat aspect of my cuntpet personae, where I tried to tease him, but instead of teasing him he “forced” me to give him a blowjob.

all else

Queer Love, Het Love, Whatevah

By Athens Boys Choir, “a gender-deviant, multi-media, spoken word/hip-hop extravaganza.” Found via Ellie Lumpesse and Feministing. I absolutely love it, and so even though many of you will have seen this already, I’m still reposting it for those of you who may not be reading Ellie (though you should be).

Pansexual is one of the identities I embrace, usually pan or omnisexual when I don’t want to get into my definition of intellisexual or my use of the word queer. I’m all about multiple identities that mean the same thing with slight differences.

It also features Team Gina who I’ve posted a video by before, AND who I am going to go see tonight! I’m so super excited about that. Go watch ButchFemme and Rock The Like by Team Gina on YouTube, or go to their myspace page and listen to some of their other songs. I love them. So excited!

Scarlet Seductions


Click here for the larger version

Popped my HNT Cherry! I wanted to do something very “me” for this my very first Half-Nekkid Thursday, so I put on my leather scarlet corset and scarlet and white polka dot skirt and grabbed my lovely scarlet and white Vicky Venus dildo and my terra-firma harness and took tons of pictures, though only a couple were really worthy of posting, as it goes.

I thought the whiteness of my thighs (I am a pasty white Alaskan, you know) along with the white and scarlet of the skirt and Vicky would look just lovely, and you can see some of my Bettie Page tattoo peeking out from under the skirt (the second “hidden” picture shows more of the tattoo and more of the corset). And just look at how cute the Vicky Venus dildo is! It is my favorite, I am so enamored with her. She’s even got a little belly button!

Taking these made me start to lust after the wireless remote control that Amazon has for my camera, and also a tripod. Neither of which I have, but both of which would be helpful for future HNT’s and photography in general.

One of the things I really want to do is take more pictures, but it’s difficult to take self-pictures (without a remote and tripod especially) and I have a lack of models. I much prefer models/portraits/people to landscapes and such. I suppose I could start advertising, but part of it is that I don’t feel ready to shoot models because I don’t think I’m “that” good yet. However, perhaps I just need to put that aside, because the more I shoot the better I will be.

A Wicked Tease

Master and I were lying in bed last night and I remarked that he had forgotten to turn off the light in the “office,” the door of which is next to ours in the corner of the small hallway in an L configuration ( | = our bedroom door _ = the office door). Since our door was open, light was coming in, and we like it to be pretty dark when we sleep.

He grumbled a bit, told me to do it, I teasingly refused, and he got up to turn it off. I told him I would have turned it off, but on his way back to the other side of the bed (his side is the side opposite from the door) he straddled my legs to softly grind his cock against my ass before lying back down. He then mentioned that if he hadn’t gotten up he wouldn’t have been able to tease me.

Two can play at that game, I thought, so I leaned over and down and licked at his cockhead before taking it into my mouth. I didn’t want to just briefly tease for a second, I wanted to get him hard and then move away and stop. I figured that would get him to fuck me, at least my mouth if not somewhere else. I bobbed my head a few times until I could feel him harden and tried to pull my head away.

While I was focused on teasing he had moved his hand behind my head, not so it was touching, but so that if I pulled away as I did his hand would catch me and not let me back up. My hair was in a bun, so he easily grabbed hold of that and dug his fingers into the hair around it, pulling at my hair whenever I tried to get away. It was deliciously painful, and because of it I decided to clench my teeth together so that he could not get his cock back in my mouth.

We struggled like that for quite some time. He pushed my mouth against his cock, he slapped my face with his cock, he grabbed and tugged at my hair and asked if I would be a “good girl” to which I frequently shook my head or replied with a “no.” He growled and pulled my hair more, making me whimper and cry out with the pain, twisting the bun so that it tugged at what felt like every strand.

He began to stroke his cock in front of me, and I could no longer resist the temptation of the now extremely hard shaft. I stuck my tongue out and wiggled it against the cockhead while he stroked, then took it into my mouth when he let me. His hand still gripping my bun as he began to fuck my face, or, more accurately, he began to forcefully stroke his cock with my mouth, tugging my head up and down by my hair.

It didn’t take long until he was groaning, grunting, and shooting his come into my mouth. I swallowed it like the good little cunt I am, and proceeded to lick and suck at it for a few moments longer, to make sure I had gotten every last drop.

We don’t often play with my cunt side, but it has been coming out more lately. It’s always delicious when it does. Master loves forcing me, and I love being forced, so it’s really a win-win. In an odd way it is also a way for my Domina side to (somewhat) come out during play with Master, as I can have somewhat more control over the situation, but end up being overpowered by him… but this is something to get into for another post.

Afterward he told me that I should know that I would not be able to tease him like he can tease me. Of course I knew that, but pretending is much more fun than just giving in to that fact.

Some Structure for the Site

I’ve been thinking a lot about the structure of this blog, the intent, what I’m trying to “say” or do or what affect I’m trying to have, and I can’t answer all of those yet, but I’m working on it. This is more than just a blog for me to write about things going on in my life, because I use my livejournal for that (sort of, I’ve been slacking lately). This is more than just a blog for me to write things about BDSM, because I feel it encompasses more than that. I think that the sub-title really says it all. I do mainly focus on BDSM, but I try to post about each bit in kind.

So, in thinking about what I’m trying to say with this blog, I came to the conclusion that I lack the discipline (no surprise there) of posting as often as I would like. I think that in order to gain this discipline it may help for me to construct a list of days, call them nifty alliterated things and stick to the posting of them. This would also help me on the weekends or days when I have a lot of time which I can devote to the blog but have so much to write about I can’t decide on one thing.

I also added a neat plugin called Post Ideas which can keep track of my list of ideas of things I want to write about, and I can pull from that any time I may need to.

Obviously I wouldn’t be limited to these posts on these days, these are just a jumping-off point, and hopefully will help me focus my ideas and intentions. Also: I may not stick rigidly to these either, but I will try to post more often and something related to the day when possible. I may go completely off track, however, and don’t blame me if I do. These are guidelines, and not necessarily hard and fast rules.

My days:

Semantics Sunday – This would essentially be my definition of a word/phrase each week. Something related to one of the many identities which I explore within this blog (see: sub-title), which basically covers anything sexual, gender, bdsm, and poly/relationship oriented. Could be fun…

Masturbation Monday – A review of a sex toy! This may be in written or audio form (talking about the sexcast here), or possibly both. Most will be new, some may be follow-up information (if needed), some (if in audio) may be slight repeats. (Though there will be one this week that will not be on Monday since Monday already passed and I got my lot of sex toys from VibeReview on Friday!)

Temptress Tuesday – A post exploring the Domina personae or the cunt aspect of my cuntpet personae. The personaes who tempt, are tempting, and tempt others into action for various reasons.

Wicked Wednesday – A free-for-all post, really, about something I feel the need to blog about. Could be anything sexual, another Domina post, a cuntpet post, musings on BDSM in general, or something completely different! Random posts which do not fit into the structure go here, as long as they are somehow “wicked”!

Half-Nekkid Thursday – The well known and beloved way for sex(y) bloggers to expose themselves with more than just words. Many of you read my recent pondering regarding this phenomenon and now you know my answer. A lot of my decision was prompted by Ellie’s response to that post, and some of the ideas she brought up, and also prompted by my desire and need to use my Rebel XT more often. This will be fun…

Fucktoy Friday – A post exploring my cuntpet personae, either the fucktoy or pet aspect most likely, but also anything regarding sex and sexuality. Also a very broad category. Hopefully something salacious!

Saturday – None or free-for-all. Nothing specific, no alliteration, as I don’t tend to post on Saturdays (no bar against it, though, of course).

On a slightly side note (though I was talking about plugins before, so it’s slightly relevant), I also added an @reply plugin for comments, which can add an @Name to comments replying to other commenters. Also, the TwitThis plugin which you should see below this paragraph, which would allow you to tweet this post by clicking on it and logging in. It’s pretty neat (though I don’t wholly expect it to be used much (yet?), but I like it anyway).

Oh, Sugasm (#142)

Time for the Sugasm again. Yes, it’s Tuesday, and that’s when they do it! I submitted… oh, geez, was it just the last post? I’ve got to post those drafts I’ve been working on… well, anyway, I submitted Discoveries of the Domina for this week’s sex(y) bloggers round-up as Sugasm is. This time (for the first time) I included the picture along with the post. Why have I done that? Well, you’ll just have to wait for the next post (if I ever finish it) for an explanation. (changed my mind about that one, but…) I’ve been thinking (as I do) and I’ve got lots of plans ahead… You’ll see (if they ever make it from plans to reality).

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #143? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Interludes – part 3

“He winds the rope around his hands, smoothing the kinks, and I stand there, breathing a little faster, conscious of all those eyes upon me.”

Hurts So Good
“I want you to wear the badges of sweet distress for days.”

Shower fantasy
“You don’t want to admit it, but you want me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Why I haven’t blogged about the Mosley case

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

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