Purveyor of Pleasure – Page 50 – Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

The Undead are Cumming

On August 27, 2008

“Braaaaaaaaains… I mean, peeeeniiiissssssssssss…”

How could I resist posting the clip from a gay zombie movie as found here on Queerty. When someone combines two of my favorite things and makes them just this hilarious, there’s no way I’m passing up posting about it.

This spoof trailer could easily be viewed in one of two ways: as social commentary on the idiocy of being scared of homosexuals as if we carry the plague or some other sort of disease (like zombie disease), poking fun at the stupidity of people who think that way; or it could be a reproduction of that fear. There is no real indication on their website that I can see, or on the YouTube info, but given that it’s comedy and obviously supposed to be a parody or spoof of a real zombie movie, which have been theorized to all be cautionary tales of becoming the “other” in society, I’d say it’s either meant to be a social commentary, or simply a happy accident.

I think it’s hilarious, and brilliant.

VibeReview Sent Me to New Toy Heaven!

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 26, 2008

In Sex Toy Love

It’s that time again! I’m excited to say that my next shipment from VibeReview is on it’s way. Currently I have just one more toy to review from them, Silicone Crystal Cote (and what a review that will be!), which should be coming to you shortly. But, having one toy left means I have a new shipment coming!

I’m currently enamored with all things Lelo since they were lovely enough to send me the Nea (review coming soon!), so I had to get something made by them in this shipment. I am very much looking forward to the Iris by Lelo, a wonderful g-spot vibrator from everything I have read, not to mention absolutely gorgeous! But, then, that’s not surprising, as all Lelo toys are gorgeous.

Along with the lovely Iris I am getting another vibrator, the Odyssey Tickler which looks like a lot of sensational fun, and is completely waterproof, which means shower time, especially shared showers, may be getting a little more exciting (not that they weren’t already). I’ve only ever had one other waterproof vibrator, and it’s been quite a while since she broke down on me, so it’s definitely time to bring another one into the house.

I am also receiving a gorgeous new harness, the Hardcore Harness all corset-backed and sexy black leather. I’ve been lusting after a new harness for some time, while I do love my terra firma harness it’s the only one I’ve ever had. The Hardcore Harness seems potentially perfect, easy to femme up with my black leather corset and fishnets, or include it in a butch king outfit of black denim and a leather jacket or pinstripes.

To go with The Hardcore Harness, in addition to the strap-on compatible dildos I already have, I’m recieving the gorgeous Bandito (in black, I believe, though the purple is pretty as well) and Celestial Perfection, which I’m

desperately hoping will live up to it’s name. Both dildos are 100% silicone, not to mention curved nicely and absolutely gorgeous. One black, one white, there could be some interesting play regarding that. Reading The Leather Daddy and the Femme has put a lot of wonderful (pegging) ideas into my head, and I’ll be happy to try them out with my new toys.

Last, but not least, are the two restraint toys I’m looking forward to. The Under the Bed Restraint system which has absolutely glowing reviews on VibeReview and could easily become a permanent fixture to our bed should they be as good as they say. The Dominus and I don’t do a whole lot of restraining other than mental and the occasional bondage tape, but it’s not for lack of desire.

The final item on the list is a very simple toywhich I’m almost ashamed to say we don’t have one of already (though I did used to have a chain leash, which I lent to a friend and never got back–but that was before Dominus and I were together), a Leather Leash. Simple, sexy, stylish, oh yes, and something I’m looking forward to trying out. I’ve always enjoyed (and hated) the idea of being led around on a leash, or, more recently, leading around another (though I’m lacking the partner for that activity), and I have a feeling it will be very enjoyable.

And, of course, as usual: don’t forget about clicking on the Obama for President Coupon to receive 10% your next order!

Review: The Silver Bullet

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 25, 2008

In Sex Toy Love

Don’t forget to click on The Obama for President Coupon so that you can get 10% off your next order with VibeReview!

I love clitoral vibrators, especially if they are affordable and strong, and The Silver Bullet is just that. Bullets have a dear place in my heart, as the first vibrator I ever bought was a bullet. I was visiting my sister in Seattle and she took me to Babeland (then Toys in Babeland), she and a few friends were taking one of their co-workers to buy her first sex toy, and I had just gotten in to town, so I tagged along. It was glorious. I remember being completely awe-struck, I wandered around, looked at books that I desired like Screw the Roses, Send me the Thornes and, though I did desire a rabbit, I went for a more affordable choice: a glow in the dark bullet vibe. It was fantastic, and I remember loving it… a lot.

As a bullet vibe was my first ever sex toy all those years ago (aside from my hand, of course) bullets are forever near and dear to my heart. They are wonderfully inexpensive, but can pack a strong punch, and The Silver Bullet does just that, not to mention the silver bullet is metal, as opposed to other plastic bullets, which means it takes temperatures nicely, you can warm it in your hands or cool it down with some ice for fun sensation play. The vibrations of the bullet are strong, pleasant, and concentrated at the tip of the bullet, just where I like it.

The strongest selling points, aside from the power for the price, is the ease of maneuverability and versatility. You can do just about anything with this toy, and I should know, I used my glow-in-the-dark bullet anywhere I could find a use for it since a bullet was the only toy I had for quite some time. Anything that small is just perfect to get exactly where you want it, great for clitoral or perineum stimulation.

Bullets are also great for anal play for those who just like something small up there (as long as you use a condom with the bullet so it’s easier to get out, and never ever ever pull the bullet out by the cord, pull it out by the condom). They can also be used for discreet public play, the bullet nestled right against the clit and the controls in your pocket. Partner play is enhanced with the bullet as well, since it’s small it’s easy to get in between bodies, with either partner holding the controls.

There’s an endless amount of fun you can have with bullets, and since they’re so affordable and versatile I believe every sex toy lovin’ home should have at least one. The Silver Bullet is one of the toys I plan on always having around and I believe it will never go out of style.

Psst… be sure to click on the The Obama for President Coupon to get 10% off your next order!

Semantics Sunday: Femme

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 24, 2008

In Discourse, Gender Galaxy

Yes, I know, it’s not Sunday (again) I’m getting bad at these, but at least I’m trying to stick to the posting schedule even if it is not the right day! And, that’s what backdating is for! My best excuse for being late is that our mama cat had her kittens yesterday! See all five kittens and the mama or just two kittens close-up. I’ll be posting pics on twitter as they progress.

Somethings I’ve been thinking a lot about since starting The Femme’s Guide (I start off too many posts that way, don’t I? Maybe I just think too much): What is femme? What does it mean to be femme? Who can be femme? Is there any sort of limitation on what femme means?

Something I came across a while ago here via The Femme Show was a definition of what femme is, or can be: “[the femme is] a betrayer of legibility itself. Seemingly “normal,” she responds to “normal” expectations with a sucker punch– she occupies normality abnormally.” – Lisa Duan and Kathleen McHugh from “A Fem(me)inist Manifesto” The abnormality in the normality of feminine can be caused by a number of different things, and in all cases conscious choice is the forerunner, but can also be accompanied by a deviant sexual orientation (queer, dyke, lesbian, bi, pan, etc. to which I also include queer heterosexual), biological sex-to-gender allignment (such as femme males), or etc.

My basic definition of a femme is someone who consciously chooses to embrace fem(me)ininity as a “deviant” identity. Femme is a conscious genderfuck in the rouse of traditional femininity. The major difference between a feminine woman and a femme is conscious gender performance, and anyone who consciously takes on the role of femininity as a deviant identity can be femme.

I don’t believe that femme is reserved for any type of person, there are femmes of all sexes, orientations, sizes, colors, etc. The only thing I believe must be present in order to embrace the identity of femme is just that: embracing the identity and consciously performing femmeininity.

This also doesn’t mean that they must be femme all the time, or that it has to be an all-or-nothing experience. I am an advocate (and practitioner) of gender fluidity, and I don’t believe that once an identity is embraced it must be the dominant identity at all times.

This brings me to the question of how is femme deviant? How is being femme any more deviant than being feminine? In a culture which considers femininity to be a counterpart to masculinity and therefore everything that masculinity isn’t: weak, vulnerable, emotional, etc. when a femme consciously chooses to be femme ze is choosing to take on this culturally slandered role. When we consciously choose marginalized roles while recognizing their marginalization we are, in a way, giving power to them. This is, in my mind, deviant and a small way of rebelling against social order.

The big issue with femme, in my opinion and experience, is visibility. It’s often difficult to be recognized as femme as opposed to feminine.

The Nea has Stolen My… Heart?

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 23, 2008

In Sex Toy Love

I am absolutely enamored with the Nea by Lelo, I’m enamored with all of their products, really, but the Nea is the only one I currently own. Lelo was kind enough to send me a Nea to review and let me tell you, it may just have surpassed the Hitachi as my favorite toy. Though it’s not as powerful as the Hitachi, but it’s small (only about two inches), curved just right, and what it lacks in power it makes up for in maneuverability.

This isn’t my official review of it, I’ll have much more to say about it then, this is more of just a side note. Even Dominus likes it. The night I first had it I couldn’t stop playing with it while we were in bed. I wasn’t putting it on my clit, rather I was just turning it on, playing with the different pulses, pressing the tip against any exposed skin I could get my hands on. I made it buzz against his nipples, belly, and down to his cock, just playing the vibration against him, and he seemed to enjoy it…

I am in love with all things Lelo at the moment, and hope to get more of their pleasure objects in the future. They are all gorgeous and look like works of art, each one more beautiful than the last, each one unique and lustful in it’s own way. I honestly can’t say there isn’t a toy of theirs that I wouldn’t like (though I would never buy the yva, as much as I love toys I wouldn’t spend $1300 on one).

I was actually supposed to get the Lily instead of the Nea, but there was a mix up in shipping it, and since they are basically identical (though they have slightly different finishes, and the Nea has the pretty floral design) I wasn’t too upset about it… though I still want the Lily. I want them all, though, so that makes sense.

I have been keeping it on my night stand, or taking it with me when I go downstairs sometimes, just to play with it in my hand. I’ve idly thought about carrying it with me in my bag, just because if I had the whim to play with it I pretty much could, plus it doesn’t look like a sex toy. I have yet to do so, but it’s on my list of things to do… not sure where I would use it, though. We have pretty good ideas between us, I think we’ll manage

Look forward to my official review (not just my omgiluvthiztoy post as this one is) in the next week or so.

A Femmetastic New Project

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 22, 2008

In Gender Galaxy

I have a new project which I’ve been working on since the beginning of the month, so it’s not brand-spankin-new, but it’s still new for me: The Femmes Guide to Absolutely Everything. This will also be a collaborative effort (as it is my summer/fall for collaborative writing projects), like BestSexBloggers.com which you all should check out, and the newest collab blog Kinky Sex Link which just launched today!

The Femmes Guide (as I usually call it for short) has some of my absolutely favorite femme bloggers participating. The author list thus far (in alphabetical order) includes:
Bevin Branlandingham, Catalina of CatalinaLoves, Ellie Lumpesse, Essin’ Em, Hussy Red, and (last but not least) Miss Avarice. I’m very fortunate to have all these wonderful amazing femmes willing to work on this project with me!

The basic premise is:

The Femmes Guide is a sex-positive femme queer collaborative blog meant to be a fun, enjoyable, educational, and sometimes snarky look at femmeininity and femme culture. We aim to create a resource for the online femme community, where femmes can gain helpful information about navigating in this world as a femme, learn about the way others view their femme identity, and come to a greater understanding of their own femme identity through the sharing of information.” There are four sections: How Tos, Reviews, Advice, and Musings.

One interesting thing that has been brought up, and I’m not sure if it is a product of my limited blog-o-sphere or a product of the types of bloggers out there, is that all of the authors thus far are white, well-educated, fatgirl (or ex-fatgirl) femmes in our 20s and 30s. Of course, we are diverse in other ways, in our experiences and viewpoints, and in our choices of partners, to name a few. I do believe part of the lack of diversity is because of the type of people who blog, but that’s not all of it either. I really want to open up the site to femmes of all different backgrounds, ethnicities, sizes, etc. so if you are someone who is interested, or if you know someone who might be interested, check out The Femmes Guide and email me (femmesguide*at*gmail*dot*com).

I’m so super excited about this new project. It already has a lot of wonderful information within it from each of the amazing authors. I encourage you all to look it over, and feel free to tell me what you think!

The (Leather Daddy and the Femme) Bibliophile HNT

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 21, 2008

In Introspection

Click here for the larger version.

In true FFToy fashion, because I have been completely devouring this book and it’s the only thing I can really think about and because it is not only crazy hot but in some ways a perfect articulation of some of my own desires, I decided for my HNT this week it should include the book that has been on my mind since I started reading it. The Leather Daddy and the Femme is not a perfect articulation of all of desires, but it is damn close. I highly recommend anyone who hasn’t read it to read it. Once I have finished it (which shouldn’t be too long) I will write a review of it. Should be fantastic.

If you look, you can see one of my tattoos peeking out above the book (no, it’s not two spoons, promise) I call it “lovers entwined.” But you do get to see my pretty polka-dot bra I got from Lane Bryant, as well as a bit of my collar, both public and home (the heart necklace is my public collar). My hair looks less red than it is, but that’s mostly ’cause of the light.

I have nothing terribly interesting to say tonight. Happy HNT, hope you enjoyed the picture, and go pick up The Leather Daddy and the Femme. Oh, and keep an eye out for the book review, coming soon.

Size vs. Health

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 20, 2008

In Adipose, Introspection

I came to a realization over this past weekend, in fact I came to many realizations, but this is the one I’m going to share with you today. I don’t usually talk about personal things that don’t relate directly to some aspect of my identity. Although this does relate to my fat identity, but in a different way than I would normally post about it (not sure if that makes sense). Basically, this is the kind of post I would usually reserve for LiveJournal and not for this blog, but it is something that I need to talk about, and something that I feel I should share on here.

I haven’t been taking care of my body well enough. I’m so focused on sex and sexuality but I have been ignoring the physical, which seems contradictory but somehow it still happened. I have been trying to live as a disembodied mind, seperate from my body while at the same time sexual and loving it… it hasn’t been working so well.

I’ve been signed up with a personal trainer since January and I’ve been going (though not going to the gym as often as I feel I should) but I haven’t lost that much weight or changed my body that much. I have been eating better (though not all that much better) and I haven’t been losing weight, and it’s time for me to change that. I have known this for a while, but there’s a difference between knowing something and realizing something.

This brings me to an interesting struggle. I love being fat, I love being a bbw, but I am currently unhealthy and that is a problem. There is a difference between being fat and being healthy, and I’m way past healthy. Four years ago I went from a size 24 to a size 14. I doubt I will ever be smaller than a size 14, and I’m more than okay with that. My body type doesn’t lend itself to being smaller, and a 14/16 is (I think) the most attractive and ideal body image for me. Currently I am back up to a size 26.

I am heavier than I have ever been in my life before this, I am uncomfortable and I teeter between being unhappy with my weight and being depressed. The strange thing is that while I can get depressed with being unhealthy I still love myself and my body, just not where it is right now. It seems like a paradox, and it kind of is, but it somehow works.

The main reason I am talking about this is because my health is something I’m dedicated to change, but I’m also talking about this because there is this crazy paradox within society. The emphasis should be on health rather than size, but it’s hard to seperate one from the other. Most people equate them when, in reality, they can be worlds apart. Skinny people can have just as many or more health issues than large people, but we don’t always think of that. However, in my current state I am unhealthy, and I realize this.

Dominus and I have talked about both of our health issues. Basically he is in the same situation as I am. If we could be disembodied consciousness’ (which could still have sex) we would, but then we’d also miss out on all the fun things that bodies can do. We have decided to start a new routine which includes not only bodily health but also spiritual health, something we have been putting off since we lost our temple. We are going to create a new temple for us to work within as well as incorporate yoga (vinyasa, pranayama, and kundalini), the five Tibetan rites, and Tai Chi into our normal routines. I am also thinking of taking up bellydancing again.

This will also change our sleeping and eating patterns (for the better, I’m hoping) and switch our usual meal-a-day together from dinner to breakfast, which I’m a big fan of. It is rather ambitious, but it’s necessary. I’ll sneak little updates into my posts.

My Dick is a Girl

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 20, 2008

In Gender Galaxy, Sex Toy Love

I’ve been thinking a lot about femme cock lately, ever since I posted on the subject. I haven’t only been thinking about the acquisition of one, however, but also what it means to have a femme cock, and what it means that my cock is femme. On one hand, it’s a very minuscule difference. I mean, what does it matter if my cock is femme, butch, genderqueer, a dildo, or any other label that I put on it? It’s still a cock, right? It’s still a piece of silicone. On the other hand, cocks are not thought of as femme or feminine. Cocks are, as we generally associate them with males, usually considered a masculine item.

So, what does it really mean to have a femme cock? What’s the big deal? For one thing, when a cock is strapped on it is pretty much assumed that the strapper is masculine in some way. While there are many people who do not make this assumption I would say that the overwhelming majority do. Though it does seem like pegging (female penetrating a male with a strap on) has been getting more popular lately with videos like Bend Over Boyfriend and lots of beginner strap-on kits popping up all over the place. Even then, however, the penetrator is still thought of as taking on the masculine role even if the penetrator isn’t thought of as masculine.

Penetration is nearly always considered a masculine act, even if done by a feminine body. Rarely do you see a dildo called Felicity or Sophia, instead we see Leo, General, Magnum, and Throb. That’s not to say that there aren’t female-named dildos like Goddess, Mistress, Wanda, and the ever delightful Vicky Venus, but they are nowhere near as common as the others. There have always been vibrators with feminine names, because they are trying to appeal to their target audience, but if you delve into the realm of “realistic” dildos… well, I’ll just say I have yet to see a dildo marketed as realistic named anything feminine (though there could be one or two, I can’t claim to have seen all the dildos in the world). I’m not saying that they should be more common, I wouldn’t make that call, but I am saying that thinking of a dildo as feminine or thinking of penetration as a feminine act is not common.

But what does it really mean for a femme to have a cock, or for a femme to pack? There are infinite ways in which a femme can pack, and an infinite number of reasons and desires which can come out of packing/having a cock. I can’t help but think of an excerpt from The Leather Daddy and the Femme when thinking about femme cock, and the infinite possibilities:

It was lavender silicone and not shaped like a cock at all. It wasn’t even meant to be a cock, on her. She never got especially turned on to cocks–but strapping on something to fuck with, something that let her pin me to a bed or a wall and let her cunt-energy come exploding out of her and into my cunt or asshole, she liked that just fine. […] She didn’t think of it as a cock so I didn’t either, but I sure did take it seriously.

This is part of the way I think of my cock, I declare it as a cock but I don’t think of it as a cock but as an extension of my cunt, which is also why I’m not very attracted to realistic-looking cocks for my own personal cock. I wouldn’t be against a realistic-looking (and feeling) cock in my collection, but that wouldn’t be my main cock.

The more I read in The Leather Daddy and the Femme the more I work with and figure out my own gender queerness. My sexuality is so tied in with my gender, and it’s interesting to have this lovely femme woman as well as a butch boi within me, both aching to get out and both who desire to wear a cock.

This brings me back to the question: what does it mean? Obviously, it can mean a lot of different things depending on who is wearing the cock and who is viewing/feeling the cock. Is there a big difference between someone who embraces femme packing or strapping on than someone who embraces butch? I think there is. That’s not to say that the same meaning couldn’t be applied to the cock or the wearing of the cock in both cases, because it could be, but there would still be a difference. What would that difference be, I’m not entirely sure. Something I’ll have to think on more and get back to you.

FetLife Encourages Great Snark

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On August 19, 2008

In Power Play

I just have to share this. I recently greeted someone on FetLife and got this email back:

Thank you for the message. We are close in states.
Do you have Big Tits and Big Ass?

So, I (of course) had to reply after reading his profile which simply reads:

I am new to lifestyle. Like Big Tits, Big Ass. I’m Rich.
I live in Farmington New Mexico.
I have a house, Horse and goat for milk.
I’m here to learn and get Big Tits and Big Ass. I like Dumb Blond but Red can be dumb too.

I replied, and he responded, back and forth. The last two were sent within the last 12 hours:

Me: “I do have big tits and a big ass, but I’m not dumb so I don’t quite fit your other criteria.”
Him: “You can act dumb if you are smart.”
Me: “True, but why would I want to?”
Him: “Cause I am so good.”

Now, I have yet to respond to his being “so good,” and I’m debating if I will. On the one hand, it needs to be addressed, on the other hand anything I say will just go in one ear and out the other at this point, I’m sure of it. Either he is joking with me (which is possible, but not too probable) or he is simply oblivious and naive, which is possible considering his profile. If I do reply it will have to be with something damn perfect.

I am seriously more than amused at this point. I love FetLife, I think there are many wonderful things that happen there, and I love being a greeter, but it’s times like these that I remember that places like FetLife in some way encourage this kind of behavior as well. That’s not to say that FetLife is going around saying “come join here so that you can make and ass out of yourself” or something like that, but it is easy to use, free to join, and attracts the undesirables as well as the desired.

This isn’t exactly bad, as it will help a lot of people figure out things about themselves, even (maybe) the idiots and asshats who think they can just send messages to anyone, including someone whose profile clearly states “owned and collared by Pantos” and although it says I am Polyamorous it says I’m looking for a Mistress or a sub specifically, does he fall into either of those categories? Hmm, let’s think…

Maybe I can use this opportunity to educate him on the finer points of profile diving so that he ends up messaging just those people who might actually be interested in him. Perhaps I could take this opportunity as a way for me to get rid of one of the HNGs out there, to help a poor misguided and delusional man, so that he may come out the other side of it somewhat knowledgeable and not so much hitting on anything he sees. However, I seriously doubt he would take what I said into consideration, which means I can use this opportunity for a much needed snark.