Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Month: December 2008

XXXmas Wishlist

Since it’s getting to be that time of year (it’s December already?! How did that happen?) I thought I would share a few naughty things on my xxxmas wishlist. I’m not expecting to get all of these this holiday season, probably only one if any, but a femme can dream, can’t she?

Advanced Play Piercing Kit from Play Piercing Kits.Com which includes pretty much anything you could want for play piercing, as well as a case to carry it all in. I’ve been drooling over this since I found it, and I want to make it mine!

Advanced Play Piercing Kit from PlayPiercingKits.com

The Midori Value Kit in crimson and The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori from Twisted Monk, to better try out the ties from Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes as well as Midori’s own book.

The Deluxe Toy Bag from Protocol Leather which includes: 2 paired Two Tone Suede Floggers, 1 Protocol Flogger, 1 set of Ankle Cuffs, 1 set of Wrist Cuffs, 1 Collar, 1 Dragon’s Tongue, 1 Snake’s Tongue, 1 Protocol Agony Cane, 1 Stinger, 1 Protocol Strap, and 1 Lexan Cane. I just know that Onyx and I would have lots of fun with all these delicious implements.

I also desperately desire a Violet Wand Kit, though they are way out of our current price range (though so is the protocol leather kit, but I can still want them! I have seen electrical play done, but not yet experienced it for myself, but I want to rather badly, and I know Onyx feels similarly.

There are, of course, non-sex fetishes that I also love to partake in, namely my shoe and boot fetishes. I figured I should add a few of those in as well.

Corset Magic Boots from Pennangalan. I have wanted these boots for just about this side of forever (or about three years) and just have never been able to afford them, since they are expensive as it is and also from the UK. They are gorgeous, though.

I was going to include a pair of cute Fluevog shoes, but the site doesn’t want to load. May edit in later!

[EDIT]

There are so many Fluevog shoes I’ve been drooling over, and boots too, including these boots and these boots, but I already showed you a picture of boots I want, so I’ll show you some Fluevog shoes. Since I’m chronically unable to make up my mind or choose just one when it comes to things I like, I’ll show you three! Though I can’t decide if I want the first ones in black or red… maybe both!


[/EDIT]

So, that’s my expensive naughty wants this holiday season. What do you want?

Review: Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes

Despite absolutely loving rope bondage I really have only owned one bondage book before now, The Erotic Bondage Handbook, which isn’t exactly for beginners. It has great information within it, but assumes you know knots and ties already, unlike Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes. Two Knotty Boys is a rope bondage instruction manual that is wonderful for beginners because it not only explains how to do different knots which you may or may not already know, and 37 different ties, but it also has pictures with captions detailing each knot and tie so that you can follow along easily.

I had absolutely no trouble in following the step-by-step instructions in Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes. It is extremely helpful for the visual learner, since it’s easy to duplicate what you see in the images.

The book is separated into six basic sections: Introduction, The Knots, Basic Bondage, Decorative Bondage, Dominance Bondage, and Sex Bondage. The introduction gives you some basic ideas about rope bondage safety and different types of rope so that you are fully aware of the tools you need and how to be safe before engaging in the techniques described in the later sections.

The Knots goes over a number of basic knots and weaves as well as more complex ones like the trinity (celtic) knot. I thought I would have trouble with some of them, but most of them were easy to duplicate on the first or second try due to the picture guides.

Basic Bondage includes a few basic restraints, a rope spreader bar (they call “basic wrap”), rope shackle, anke wrap, a harness, and a gorgeous “dragonfly sleeve” which is kind of like rope armbinders (though prettier). They are all, pretty much, exactly as it says: basic. These are ties that don’t really require huge amounts of experience or talent to pull off, they are simple and easy to follow, as is evidenced by the basic wrap I put on Onyx (see picture). However, just because they are basic doesn’t mean they are not pretty on the eye or useful.

Basic Wrap - Rope Spreader Bar

Decorative Bondage is, well, filled with exactly that: bondage that is more for show than for functionality. It includes a corset, gauntlets (on the model on the front of the book), bra, panties, “good luck knot” harness (which is based around the “good luck knot” which is a five-sided knot–it is also on the model on the front of the book), and a bodysuit. Each compliments the wearer well, and while they are slightly more difficult than the basic bondage section they are also fairly easy once you get the knot techniques down. I made the panty which consists of a trinity knot (the celtic knot I mentioned earlier) and snake weave. It was very easy to make once I had the knot and weave down.

Dominance Bondage is more the type of bondage that we think of when wanting to tie someone up. It’s functional bondage that’s more intricate than the basic bondage but that can turn our willing victims into helpless slaves (or subs or bottoms as the case may be). It consists of three harnesses that don’t just decorate the body they also capture the wrists behind the back or neck, a hogtie, a bit gag, a bridle, and a “rope cage” which traps the body in a sort of rope bodysuit.

Sex Bondage is, well, exactly that. While there is a bit of overlap in Dominance Bondage and Sex Bondage, as much of Dominance Bondage could be used during sex, Sex Bondage focuses on affixing items to the rope wearer. It has a table top tie, two chair ties (kneeling facing the back of the chair, and sitting in the chair), and a rope strap-on harness. Each of these leave the wearer ready for sex, either open and unable to escape or with a new sex toy attached to fuck with.

All the ties are easy to do once you practice the knots a bit and with a willing and patient partner. I’ve only done a small amount of the ties that I hope and plan on doing, both on myself and on Onyx, but I feel more knowledgeable after reading through Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes than I was before, and possibly ready to take on the first bondage book I bought after getting these basics down.

The best part about Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes is that it is so accessible and easy beginners with little to no rope technique knowledge can pick it up and start rigging instantly. It makes fancy-looking ties and harnesses seem like a breeze to do. I would imagine it would be a great staple for intermediate or advanced riggers to have around the house as well, as it is much easier to follow than a text-only book.

With the holidays coming up, as well, it can make the perfect gift! You can get it for a loved one (or fuck buddy) as a hint that you would like to be tied up or tie them up. Or, if you know someone interested in rope bondage that hasn’t really given it a try it is the perfect book for them as well! As a gift or for yourself Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes is a wonderful book with useful ties for all.

Assumptions

I wrote the following in response to Sinclair’s post defining identity alignment assumptions, basically “the assumption that one’s identity categories align with what is either a stereotype or a dominant compulsory cultural norm.” I ended up writing more than I thought I would, and I have more to add so I thought I’d just convert it into a post on here.

There are many identity alignment assumptions that I struggle with, including the assumption that I’m straight because I’m with a cis-man, the assumption that I’m straight because my primary gender identity is femme, the assumption that my gender expression is traditionally feminine instead of femme, and the assumption that I’m unhealthy or somehow immoral because I’m fat. I’m sure there are more, of course, if I started really thinking about them, but these are the biggest that have been impacting my life lately, especially the first.

I’ve always embraced my difference, and not being visibly different (even moreso recently since I dyed my hair a normal color) is difficult for me in general. I find myself having a difficult time embracing the queer community in general because even though I’ve never been straight and never will be straight I am perceived as straight by many, including many within the queer community. Most people want others to be monosexual, it seems, it’s easier to quantify people that way.

I know that I have some assumptions I make as well, though I’ve noticed that my assumptions are different depending on my location. In Utah I tend to assume most people are mormons and straight, but elsewhere I don’t actually think about what religion or spiritual affiliation people might have, and I tend to assume more people I come across are queer. I do often link gender and sexuality assumptions together, such as assuming masculine females and feminine males are queer, but I also tend to assume general queerness rather than gay/straight binary assumptions.

Occasionally I will try to spend a day purposefully assuming the world is the inverse of what society tells us, that queers are the majority (or total) population, that assumed gender expression doesn’t actually denote the sex of the person, that everyone is polyamorous, and that people won’t automatically judge me by my size. It’s a refreshing and sometimes humbling exercise, though it’s often shattered quite quickly.

[End of the comment: start of the extra]

I actively work on my own assumptions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have them, though it’s hard for me to pinpoint them. I try to not make the same assumptions about others that I feel others make about me, but I know I do it, like assuming straightness instead of queerness.

These assumptions extend beyond people as well, to places. I find myself making assumptions about Seattle and others make assumptions about Salt Lake City due to the identity associations there. I’ve had people mention being surprised that there is a kink community here, a queer community, pagan and occult communities. People assume that SLC is just a mormon hub that doesn’t have any kind of diversity within it, though they’ve obviously not seen SLC Punk. People are surprised when they find out I live in Salt Lake City, though I don’t wholly blame them because I’m surprised that I live here.

I’m finding myself making the opposite assumptions about Seattle. I know a fair amount about the city itself, and have been reading up on it even more since we decided to move there. I’m excited about the communities there. I assume that it is going to be easier for me to find people I click with there. I assume that because it is more liberal that I won’t feel as shut-in as I do here. I don’t know if these assumptions are in any way correct, however, because I’m not counting on that other factor: me.

Call for Submissions: Sexual Ability Anthology

Working Title: Sexual Ability: Embracing the Intersection of Sexuality and (dis)Ability
Editor: Shanna Katz, M.Ed, Human Sexuality Education, Widener University
Contact: sexualability@gmail.com
Submission Deadline: March 31, 2009

Even as we approach the end of the first decade of the 21st century, there is still a large gap in people’s minds when they think about sexuality as it relates to people who are disabled, whether cognitively or physically. While some studies have been performed regarding the potential for differently-abled people to lead satisfying sexual lives, in which satisfying seems to center around the ability to orgasm, very little has been written about the experiences involving the sexualities and experiences of people who identify as handicapped/disabled/differently-abled, as well as their partners.

People of all ability levels are sexual beings. Sex is hard enough to navigate and negotiate when one fits in with society’s notions of what a sexual being is, but once you add in the concept of ability, it can become quite challenge. This anthology, Sexual Ability, seeks to bring forward the stories, challenges and experiences of differently-abled people and their partners, putting a face on the trials that so many valuable members of our society must face. By sharing the experiences of the disabled community in relation to sexuality, Sexual Ability hopes to challenge people’s viewpoints, foster discussion and conversation, and open doors towards a shift in the social constructions surrounding sexuality and disability.

Essay submissions should be well thought out, and written in a scholarly manner. Acceptable submissions can be in the form of short research papers, non-fictional accounts of personal experience(s), discussions on issues regarding sexuality and disability, etc. Fictional pieces/erotica will NOT be considered. Each author may submit a total of two (2) essays for consideration.

Some topics that authors might consider (but are certainly not limited to) include;

  • Coming out to a new partner and facilitating the “disability discussion”
  • Reclaiming words surrounding sexuality and disability, such as “crip,” “handicapped,” etc.
  • Issues within the medical community; talking with doctors about being sexually active when you’re differently-abled.
  • Having to create new sex techniques, positions, conversations, or having to re-define the traditional definitions of sex, etc.
  • Disabled and queer, disabled and of color, disabled and religious; reconciling multiple identities alongside sexuality.
  • Re-conceiving your sexuality after loss of previous abilities, either solo or with a partner.
  • Ability and kink; negotiating within the BDSM community when differently-abled.
  • Sexuality and ability through out different cultural experiences.
  • Portrayal of disabled people in the media (film, TV, art, advertisements, etc) and the connection to sexuality.
  • Disability rights; the fight for them, and how they affect sexuality amongst the disabled community.
  • Birth control/contraception; getting it, using it, adapting it, as well as pregnancy/adoption/abortion.
  • Creating your identity as a disabled person who is a sexual being; how did it evolve, and what was your journey.
  • Any other subjects you feel cover the topic of sexuality and (dis)ability.

By March 31, 2009, please send:

  • Your 2,000 – 6,000 word submission, as a word document attachment. It should be titled as such: SubmissionTitleAuthorName.doc (example: SexualAbility.ShannaKatz.Doc). Submissions must be received in 12 point Times New Roman font and sent in via Word documents (other files and cut/pasted text will not be accepted).
  • Your complete contact information, including legal name, pen name (if you have one), phone number, email, address, and website (if you have one).
  • A 50-100 word biography about yourself.

Please submit the above to: sexualability@gmail.com with the subject line of “Sexual Ability – Submission.” Submissions will be read and reviewed as received, but decisions will be made final by July 2009. Please note that accepted submissions will be approved on a tentative basis, pending editorial board approval once the anthology has secured a publisher.

Questions can be directed to Shanna Katz at sexualability@gmail.com or please visit the Sexual Ability MySpace page at www. myspace. com/sexualability.

Please distribute widely. Feel free to post on blogs, websites, social networking sites, listserves, etc.

A note: I would not dare to define what disabled/handicapped/differently-abled meant to anyone. Please do not ask me if your disability counts; if you or your partner identify as such, then I welcome your submission to this anthology.

Microfantasy Monday – Implements

The idea behind Microfantasy Mondays comes from Ang of Sweltering Celt.

This week’s theme: implements of torture. Need more? I went with breast torture specifically…

The rope is lying across the bed like an arm akimbo: casual yet practiced; the bright red highly contrasted with the black sheets below. He picks up the coil and instructs me to lift up my arms, first tugging my dress up and off of me, next beginning to wind the red rope around me. I look down and watch as the red criss-crosses my chest and creates a beautiful support system for my sizeable breasts: decorative, elegant, and depraved. He picks up a box from the bedside table.

The box rattles, he reaches in and pulls out a long clover clamp, chain dangling into the box until another is revealed. I close my eyes and touch the tip of my tongue to my upper lip, waiting for the sharp sting of the clamp upon my nipple. Instead I feel the cool metal tracing along the roundness of my right breast, making me let out a little moan of pleasure and frustration. A second coldness on my left breast before the clamps descend at the same moment, capturing my now hardened nipple between them.

Next, a bottle of iodine comes from the box, along with a couple of cotton swabs. He gestures for me to lay on the bed, and once I do he swipes the iodine soaked cotton around each clamped nipple, tugging the chain between the clamps up as he asks me if I know what he has planned.

Pleasurists #6


Jack & Katya by Digital Willy’s

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #5? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #7? Submit it here before Sunday December 7th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blogs if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Enter my Contest! Win Porn from Kink.Com! Deadline December 6th.

Want to play secret santa to one of your fellow bloggers? Now’s your chance!
Sign up for the Secret Santa XXXchange! Sign up period ends December 5th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick
Ophoria Pleasure #6 by Wendy Blackheart
“Well fuck me in the ass.
No really. That’s what I did as soon as I got this toy out of the package!”
Note: How could I resist picking a toy called Pleasure #6 for Pleasurists #6? But more than that, this review made me want to own an Ophoria Pleasure #6, which is the highest criteria for my weekly pick.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

November in a Glance

I’m doing this post round-up both for you my readers and for myself, it helps me to categorize what I have done and written, to see what areas I talk about most, what things I may want to talk about next month, and where my relationship(s) have been and how they have developed over the last month.

November was a big month for me, the largest post-wise so far, and my first time attempting to participate in NaNoWriMo, though I didn’t win but I have a better idea for what I want to do next year, or for when I choose to work out a plot and try to write a novel on my own. It was an eye-opening experience even though I didn’t complete a novel.

Huge things happened here in the US in November, which, unless you’ve been hiding under a rock somewhere, you have no doubt heard about. Barack Obama is our President Elect, and Proposition 8 in California has sparked a great queer rights insurgence. It’s pretty fantastic.

I didn’t realize how many reviews I had actually popped out during November, but I’ve really been trying to make up for having more reviews with at least twice the amount of non-review posts. I started doing at least two reviews per week in November, sometimes more.

feminist

sex-positive

fat femme

queer poly

  • I couldn’t resist posting the video of Keith Olbermann on Prop 8, along with everyone else. It’s amazing and powerful, and deserves to be spread as far and wide as possible.

kinky switch

smut

theory

personal

reviews

all else

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