Ever since I got back from Alaska Onyx and I have been playing on a different level. The level we both always wanted to but could never quite get to after I moved. The level we both, I think, crave. We have been a little more set in our roles than before and have been playing more with power.
Control for me is hot, being controlled or controlling another. It’s something I crave. Power play, to me, is a necessary part of sexuality. For a long while Onyx and I have been working on getting me to come on command. Basically what I mean by this is coming when he tells me to, when he allows me to. This is different than simply not coming until/unless he allowed me to, which we have been playing with for quite a while.
We started a long while ago with me simply having to ask for permission to come. I still do ask occasionally, but mostly now he just tells me when to come. It’s been a slow Pavlovian process. He would often draw stimulation out even after I had asked (and still does sometimes), but I would be sure not to come until after he had expressed it, thus instilling in my body’s responses to come when he tells me to.
We’ve gotten to the point that I think I have just about mastered this task. Now I rarely ask, usually he just tells me when to come and I do. It’s not the same kind of orgasm that I have alone, it’s not quite as deep, for lack of a better term. It’s still definitely an orgasm and I find that they are getting more intense as my body gets used to the aural trigger rather than the physical one. Regardless it’s definitely different, but not bad in the least.
I’m actually quite proud of it.
I like that his command can make me come even when my body isn’t quite yet ready to. It creates a response in me that I don’t want to control, it’s too delicious to feel under the control of his commands.
It’s quite exciting, really, not just in a sexual sense, but because this is something we have both been interested in and wanted for quite some time. It’s a symbol of our renewed dedication to each other and the ease with which we are playing with power in our relationship again after the events of last year.
Nadia West
This is what MasterDoc has done with me – and I can relate to the description of those orgasms not being quite as “deep.” I’ve let him know that even though he can now make me come without genital stimulation, the orgasms that result aren’t nearly as satisfying as ones with some stimulation. It’s like my body reacts in that Pavlovian response, but the entire experience of building to orgasm isn’t there, so it’s different.
But it is definitely exciting to have your body react to his words, whether you want it to or not. :-)
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
I’ve read some of your posts about it, you were very much an inspiration to me through this whole process, though I didn’t tell you that (trying to get better at commenting!). It’s good to hear that the different type of orgasm that results is something you experience too. Even with the building to orgasm that I’m usually experiencing the orgasm ends up being enjoyable but, as you said, not quite as satisfying. I actually think I’m still at the point when I could stop myself from orgasming if I really wanted to, though I haven’t actually tested that theory. Maybe it needs to be tested! I definitely want to get to the point that you are at as well, coming without genital stimulation either. That sounds exciting!
Serena Dante
Huh, that’s a very interesting way of doing the whole Pavlovian thing. I like it!
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
Thanks! I can’t claim originality in it, it seems a relatively common goal in D/s or M/s or etc. relationships, especially those that enjoy mental bdsm practices. If it can be said that anything is relatively common in the bdsm/kink world. ;)