Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Semantics Sunday: Fucktoy

So it’s not exactly Sunday, but I can fake it.

Fucktoy is a word I have been struggling to find my own definition of. When I started this blog I originally bought which I still own and which points to this domain. I then changed it to and now to The change from cuntpet to feminist fucktoy happened when I realized that cuntpet was an identity, and it would be like owning or and having that as my personal blog, that is, it would be centering this blog around one identity when I am many. I wanted to change that.

I found a shirt from which says “Feminist Fucktoy: Don’t hate the player – Hate the shame” and I absolutely fell in love with it. That shirt is what inspired me to change the name of the blog and website to The Feminist Fucktoy (and then femmeinist came later, of course). I chose the name before I started embracing my Domina side, and so fucktoy has been somewhat difficult for me to embrace as a Domina, but that’s why I defined it the way I did originally in the masthead.

I don’t believe that a fucktoy is someone soley used by another for their pleasure, which is what a common definition of fucktoy is (from what I can tell). Fucktoy is similar to slut in that sense, the common definition of slut is someone who fucks around but who isn’t gaining pleasure for themselves, only giving pleasure to others. In reality a slut can be many things, but the way I choose to view it is that it is someone who embraces hir own sexuality and chooses to engage in sexual activities in order to experience pleasure, both giving and receiving of pleasure. That is how I view fucktoy as well.

A fucktoy isn’t necesarially the one on the bottom, either, despite “toy” being part of the term, which we often equate as something being used. The beauty of a term like fucktoy is it combines an action with a (seemingly) inanimate object: fuck with toy, but toys are not always inanimate, they can do wonderful things (the SaSi comes to mind) and can embrace their given purpose, which is to bring pleasure in one form or another.

So, my (new) definition of fucktoy is as follows: a person who enjoys sex and sexuality with the purpose of giving and receiving pleasure for the benefit of all involved.

Are you a fucktoy too?


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  1. I’m definitely with you in that toys are not just inanimate objects, that they can do wonderful things in their own right, but the term “toy” to me still denotes use by another, even if the “toy” isn’t just lying down and passively taking it.

    As of right now I wouldn’t classify myself a fucktoy. Now, whenever it is I manage to find someone who awakens my inner sub, that may change. ;)

  2. Oh, and I forgot to mention – LOVE the new layout!

  3. @Amber (tieyou_topme): Thank you sweetie! I’m really digging the new layout myself. I think I need a new masthead, though, but that’s to be expected. I was getting tired of the old one, and it seemed like a good time for a change!

    I agree that “toy” still denotes use by another, but I think that also comes down to how we classify “use” as well. I’m not sure, it’s very possible that I may be reaching here, trying to justify the use of the term fucktoy while also embracing my Domina side is a little difficult, but it also all comes down to semantics. I don’t have it 100% figured out yet.

  4. That is a lovely definition of fucktoys. I can surely find myself in it.

  5. I am definitely a fucktoy. Thanks for this post. I also really liked the post where you define cuntpet. I’ve been struggling with thinking about submission and what it means to me, and I’m realizing that I have a force fetish which would make me more of a cunt than a slave. Thank you for this vocabulary, already amorphous feelings are slipping into place.

    chicory’s last blog post: More on My Motherhood

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