Master and I began doing more M/s stuff last night. He did, rather, and it was rather sudden, I was not expecting it. He told me to go make him a drink, but he always does that, but I took too long for him, and he tugged me out of bed by my legs and pulled at my hair and told me that I needed to do it when he told me to and not put it off.
When I came back with it he told me to kneel and present it to him like a slave. It wasn’t a big thing, really, but it took a lot for me to do it, and I don’t know why. I think I just wasn’t used to it or expecting it, I was surprised and taken aback and not ready for the change. I mean, we had been talking about it, and he was reading around bestslavetraining.com and we had been talking about the slave training book I got as well, but I wasn’t expecting him to do it right at that moment. I was just shocked, but that was just the start.
After that we went upstairs, I was partially upset and just grouchy in general because I wasn’t anticipating what was going on. I made him another drink and he told me that I am to present everything I make for him to him like a slave. I kind of freaked. It was mostly just not anticipating, and it was partially just surprise, and going too fast, or faster than I was expecting. It was odd, and I didn’t think I would have such a reaction, and I don’t know why I did. I just got awkward and quiet and ended up crying a little. Part of it, I think, is that I was feeling like we had just started something new but somehow I was fucking up already, I wasn’t doing it right, I wasn’t pleasing him, I was just messing up. I was a wreck for a while there.
He helped me through it, though, somewhat at least, and I helped myself through it. He eventually snapped me out of it by telling me that I would do as instructed to show that I wanted to be his slave. He had asked me if I wanted to be a slave, and then if I had wanted to be his slave, and I answered yes to both. He told me to present it to him to show him that I wanted it, and so I did, with a bit of tears in my eyes I did. I don’t know why it hit me so hard, but it did.
After that, though, it was like it was the most natural thing in the world, to do what he told me, to kneel and present him with new drinks, with food, to bend to his will, and to do for him. He made me feel precious, cherished, and also like his slave. Truly. And I loved every second. I loved him even more last night than ever before, if that’s possible. He made me feel just what I’ve wanted to, and I knew at the same time he was opening up, in a sense, he was letting me in, he was letting me put him first, and he was accepting that role. It felt perfect.
We spent the night like that, and then came downstairs and had sex, the normal kind of sex we have, which generally involves some verbal yummyness and him Doming me, but this time it was slightly different. I was more open to him, in a way, I just kept looking at his face, in all the pleasure, and realizing more and more my love for him. I was enamored with him, infatuated in that moment, more than I have been possibly ever. I was amazed, in wonder, in shock still a little, and extremely happy.
Today, we’ve been keeping the same dynamic, but we haven’t really done much, but that was okay. The underlying is there, but we didn’t do much that required the set things like that to be incorporated. I’d like to do more kneeling for him, sitting at his feet, resting my head on his thigh sort of thing, but more will come as we change and grow.
I already know we’re on the right path.