Purveyor of Pleasure

Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

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Finding My Track

Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked. I think leaving school was what really did it, I needed a break from the massive amount of reading theory that I had done, quite unsuccessfully near the end. I enjoyed it all but had gotten to a point where I was just inputting far too much for my brain to handle and I was wanting to focus on other things. Things like relationships. And suddenly I had money to worry about. I just got distracted. That’s not to say there isn’t a place for posts that I’ve been doing, but I want to get back to writing interesting theory and I’m worried my intellectual muscles have atrophied.

Now next month will mark the two year anniversary of officially being out of school, and I’ve been doing that life-stock thing. I really used to enjoy writing on this blog, but now it seems like the inspiration doesn’t come as easily as it used to. I have about fifteen thousand books I’m trying to read all at once, and a lot of my current focus is on the metaphysical. I could start writing about that sort of stuff here, but I also have ten thousand other blogs that I write for.

I keep thinking that I’m spreading myself too thin, or dividing my attention too many places, and I’m trying to figure out what to keep doing and what to lose, what I can spend my time on and what I can’t. It’s not an easy process, I want to do everything, but having so many projects and ideas I end up working on them all but not actually producing finished work for anything.

Now, back to what I talked about a while ago regarding life goals for a bit. I have a few things in mind and am working on buffing up my astrology muscles to the point where I can feel comfortable charging people for readings. I may start offering free short email and/or phone consultations to get into the spirit of that as well, we’ll see.

I’ve realized I have just too damn many interests and things I want to do, which is really quite unfortunate in some ways as I never have enough hours in the day to get everything done! I am trying to set goals and deadlines for myself and I’m thinking that doing something like blocking facebook on my computer would be a good idea. Heh.

I’m trying to re-conceptualize what I want to do with this blog. I still want to write about personal things but I’m also trying to expand my scope and I’m wondering if I might need to change something. I want to do something like my Size and Sexuality Study again, and I may start posting some of the finished surveys I still have yet to publish from that if there is any interest. Perhaps I will do something to build on what I already started to do. I keep being seduced with the idea of starting up yet another blog, but am trying to refrain, I’ve actually gotten rid of two in the last few weeks that I wasn’t updating so I could use the space for something else.

I’m thinking of ways to spruce up Wanton Lotus as well and have a list of Products 101 posts that I really want to do and have had in the works forever and a day, like how to choose the right lube for you or some general product safety information, but I haven’t gotten around to writing it. I also want to start posting a review round-up on this blog again like I used to mentioning the reviews that I’ve done on Wanton Lotus for readers of this blog who don’t read that blog.

Mostly I need to just set myself deadlines and stick to them, that’s what I did during the time I was posting once a day way back when, I told myself I had to post something every day and so I did. Now I have so many blogs and projects I need to figure out how to divide my time accordingly.

I’m developing a schedule, though, and trying to get a list of things I want to write about so that I don’t feel so lost for good topics. I’m thinking I might start talking about spiritual aspects of myself on this blog as well. We’ll see.

Anything you would like to see more of? Any questions you have or topics that you want me to write about? Let me know, I’d be happy to.

In the Year 2009

I refuse to reminisce about the past decade unless it's in a

The ever-so-popular year-in-review post, much like my In the Year 2008 last year. So, this is a little late, but I’m still posting it anyway! The new year is always a good time to reflect on the year before and look forward to the year to come, so here’s my reflecting.

In 2009…

Were there any other significant events in my life in 2009? Definitely, though that doesn’t mean I remember them all. Was there anything that I mentioned on here that you think should be included in this list and isn’t? Do you have a favorite post of mine in 2009? What were your significant moments of 2009?

And, since someecards has sort of gotten me on the subject… in the last decade…

  • I lived in Juneau, Alaska; Ashland, Oregon; Salt Lake City, Utah; and Seattle, Washington. I then came full-circle back to Juneau.
  • I graduated college, receiving a double Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology and Gender Studies from the University of Utah.
  • I had lots of sex, some of it good, some of it bad. I learned a lot about sex in general.
  • I met Onyx in the middle of it (five years ago, it was December/November time I believe, so just over five years).
  • I grew into myself. My clothing style is much the same as it was in 2000 and I’m back in my hometown, but lots of other things are drastically different. I am still shy and social-avoidant, but I am more confident and self-assured.
  • I cut my hair shorter than chin-length for the first time, and dyed it for the first time both in general and an unnatural color.
  • I had at least four blogs (more if you count livejournal or diaryland) and a short-lived sex podcast under another pseudonym, this is the longest-running one of the bunch I believe.

Might add more as I think of them.

Leave Your Life-Stock Alone*

Fall seems to be the time for starting new projects–there have been A LOT of blogiversaries in the last month plus–and generally of taking stock of one’s life. Perhaps this is because we are coming inside from the crazyness that is summer and all the fun that goes along with that and need to focus on other more personal things like blogs and self.

I have been absent from this blog for quite some time, I do not take pleasure in it the way I used to and I have less time to write even though I have plenty to say but at the same time I have nothing at all to say. I’m often worried that something I write in here will be taken badly by one or both of my partners and so I have become cautious and self-editing to the point of nondisclosure.

None of us are happy in this situation, but we don’t have the means to change it, and we don’t know what to do about that. We all feel stuck, on edge, like everything is threatening to break at every given moment and it’s all we can do to keep it from doing so. Or maybe that’s just me. We love and are loved but it is guarded love and it comes with promises and expectations. This situation is killing me and I don’t know how to get out of it.

I love them both so very much, but everything is so discombobulated and strange that I’m not sure what that really means.

I need to get over my fears, however, and figure out what I need and what I am thinking, and that’s where this blog comes in. I’ve come a long way from when I started this, I’ve changed a lot, found new words to mark my changes and used words to help myself remember the experiences along the way. I have written posts similar to this before, my realization of needing a space to chronicle out my thoughts and fears and dedicating myself to doing so, and every time I mean it.

I’m working on figuring out some new features or series’ for this blog and for Wanton Lotus. I am wondering about my choice to split the two of them up, wondering if they would have been better left together, and wondering if I am still writing for the reasons I want to write about. I haven’t been, but I intend to change that.

I started this blog as a place of release, somewhere I could express everything and anything going on in my life for the sake of getting it out of my head. It’s not written for an audience, though I do enjoy the fact that some people find my life/words/writing/whatever interesting but that has never been my focus. I want it to be interesting to read, yes, and I do not want to use it as a out-and-out journal, I want it to be a guide on my way to self-expression and a better writing quality.

Again, I think I’ve said all this before, but I feel the need to repeat it. I am going to set goals for myself again, focus on writing exercises, and focus on certain aspects I am desiring to write more about and delve more deeply in to. Gender and polyamory are two main focuses of my life at the moment and I’m going to start there. Sex and smut are also key factors, and I want to start writing more erotica from all sorts of points of views.

I haven’t really been sharing as much of my personal sex life as I have previously or as I would like to be because of my partners and the situation we are all in, but some day I would like to get back to that. I enjoy writing about experiences that have taken place and I hope to be able to do that again soon. I’m making it a goal to become more involved with the community here, which I really haven’t done, and hopefully that will lead to more interesting stories.

I also have many thoughts about revamping my other main site, Wanton Lotus. I just need to actually sit down and finish some of these things that I have in the works and the ideas I have. The same goes for Pleasurists for that matter, I want to focus on creating more of a community resource, but that is a whole other post.

*A line from Grosse Point Blank, maybe not the perfect title, but it’s always what I think of when I think of taking stock of life.

Reviews: Fun Factory Week!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

This past week was Fun Factory Week on Wanton Lotus! Five Fun Factory reviews in five days!

Boss (Lady) Review Teaser

Name: Boss (Lady)

Type: Vibrator

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone in a velvety-matte finish

Length: 8 3/4″ (total), 6 3/4″ (insertable)

Width: 1 3/5″

Girth: 5 1/2″

Charge: Four AAA Batteries

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Boss (Lady) Review!


Freestyle Cuffies Review Teaser

Name: Cuffies – Freestyle

Type: Wrist Cuffs

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Materials: Rubber (cuffs), ribbon, and aluminum (chain).

Length: 7 3/4″ cuffs, 23″ with chain
Width: 1 1/4 to 1 1/2″

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read and watch the entirety of the Cuffies Freestyle Review!


Smartballs Review Teaser

Name: Smartballs

Type: Vaginal Balls/Kegel Exercisers

Material: Elastomed – more on this material in the review.

Length: 4 1/2″

Width: 1 3/8″

Girth: 4 1/2″

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Smartballs Review!


Bloomy Review Teaser

Name: Bloomy

Type: Anal Toy & Dildo

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Length: 5 1/2″ (total) 4″ (insertable)
Width: 1 1/2″
Girth: 4 1/4″

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of the Bloomy Review!


Angelo Review Teaser

Name: Angelo

Type: Vibrator

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Material: Silicone

Length: 5 1/2″ (total) – 4 1/4″ (insertable)
Width: 1 1/2″
Girth: 4 3/4″

Charge: Two AAA Batteries

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read the entirety of the Angelo Review!

Reviews: Yes, Bare, Leather!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

Yes! Pure Intimacy Lube Review Teaser

Manufacturer: Yes Pure Intimacy

Type: Water-based and Oil-Based

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes

Organic: Yes
Vegan: Yes

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the Yes! Pure Intimacy Lube Review!


Bare As You Dare Harness Teaser Review

Name: Bare As You Dare Harness

Type: Strap-on Harness

Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Nylon and steel (o-rings)

Fit: Up to 54 inch hips (approximately).

Style: One-strap or G-string

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the Bare As You Dare Harness Review!


Rabbit Fur and Leather Flogger Teaser Review

Name: Mini rabbit fur and leather whip

Type: Flogger

Manufacturer: Unknown?

Material: Rabbit fur and leather

Length: 9 inches (falls) 14 inches (total)

Sensation: Stingy – 1 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Click to read the entirety of the Rabbit Fur and Leather Flogger Review!

Reviews: Big, Cheetah, Rude, Lube!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the past couple weeks!

For Your Nymphomation Big Foot Storage Case Review Teaser

Name: Big Foot

Type: Toy Storage

Manufacturer: For Your Nymphomation

Material: Black Faux Leather

Dimensions: 12″ wide x 5″ high x 5″ deep

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the FYN Big Foot Case Review!


Sportsheets Cheetah Fur Lined Paddle Review Teaser

Name: Fur Lined Paddle

Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Leather and faux-fur

Length: 14 inches
Width: 3 inches

Fur-Side Sensation: Thuddy – 1 (out of 3)
Leather-Side Sensation: Stingy – 2 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Watch the entirety of the Cheetah Fur Lined Paddle Review!


Rude Boy Prostate Massager Review Teaser

Name: Rude Boy

Type: Anal Toy & Prostate Massager

Manufacturer: Rocks Off Limited

Material: Silicone

Charge: Watch Batteries (in a detachable bullet, included)

Length: 6 inches (insertable)
Width: 1 inch (diameter)
Girth: 3 1/2 inches (around)

Waterproof: Yes

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must-Have

Read the entirety of the Rude Boy Review!


Pomegranate Vanilla BabeLicious Lube Teaser Review

Name: BabeLicious Lube

Manufacturer: Babeland

Type: Water-based Lubricant

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes

Organic: No

Flavored: Yes

Ingredients: Deionized water, sorbitol, cellulose gum, potassium sorbate, polyquaternium-7, phenoxyethanol, citric acid, and flavor.

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the rest of the Pomegranate Vanilla BabeLicious Lube Review!

Reviews: Bar, X, Beyond, Heart

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

kinklabspreader

Kinklab Adjustable Spreader Bar Review Teaser

Name: Adjustable Spreader Bar

Manufacturer: Kinklab

Material: Steel

Length: Eight options between 25 and 37 inches (adjustable)

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read and watch the rest of my Kinklab Adjustable Spreader Bar review here!


xerotic2

X: The Erotic Treasury Review Teaser

Title: X: The Erotic Treasury

Editor: Susie Bright

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: September 1, 2008 (Hardcover First Edition)

Page Count: 367

Story Count: 40

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the rest of my review of X: The Erotic Treasury here!


ophoriabeyond3

Ophoria Beyond No. 3 Review Teaser

Name: Beyond No. 3

Manufacturer: Ophoria

Material: 100% Medical-grade Premium Japanese Silicone

Length: 9 inches
Width: 1 3/4 inches (at thickest point), 1 1/4 inches (shaft)
Girth: 5 1/2 inches (at thickest point), 4 1/2 inches (shaft)

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must Have

Read and watch the rest of my Ophoria Beyond No. 3 review here!


heartcrop

Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop Review Teaser

Name: Heart Impressions Crop
crop
Manufacturer: Sportsheets

Material: Leather and (possibly) nylon for the red color between the crop loop

Length: 16.5 inches (without leather loop handle) 24.5 inches (including leather handle)
Width: 2 inches (striking tip) 1.5 inch (heart)

Sensation: Stingy – 1 (out of 3)

Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Read the rest of my Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop here!

Reviews: Secret, Fun, Lube

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

agentsecret

Agent Secret Game Profile

Name: Agent Secret Game

Manufacturer: Bijoux Indiscrets

Contents: Black round hat tin containing two black polyester bags: one bag for “Agent 001,” one bag for “Agent 002.” In the bag for Agent 001: a card to write down your “secret desire” on, the pencil to write with, and a padlock to lock the card. In the bag for Agent 002: black bondage ribbons, a red and black feather tickler, a vibrating cock ring, and a satin mask.

Rating: 2 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Okay & Not Recommended

Read the entirety of my review here!


Product Line: Wet Naturals

Manufacturer: Wet

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes
Organic: No

Overall Rating: 3 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Good & Recommended

Name: Beautifully Bare
Type Water-based

Name: Sensual Strawberry
Type Flavored water-based

Name: Silky Supreme
Type Silicone-based

Read about all three of these Wet Naturals lubes here!


njoyfunwand

Double-ended Dildo Profile

Name: Fun Wand

Manufacturer: Njoy

Material: Stainless Steel

Length: 8 inches end-to-end
Thickness: 1 inch single bulb. 3/4 inch to 1 inch beads
Girth: 3 1/4 inch single bulb, 2 1/4 inch to 3 inch beads

Rating: 5 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Exceptional & A Must Have

Watch the video review and read the rest of my review of the Njoy Fun Wand here!

Reviews: Four S'

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Fridays are supposed to be my promotion day on here, so here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

share

Share Strap-on Double Dildo Profile

Name: Share

Material: 100% Medical-grade Silicone

Manufacturer: Fun Factory

Length: 7″ (shaft) & 5″ (bulb)
Thickness: 1 1/2″ (shaft) & 1 3/4″ (bulb)

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended (but keep in mind anatomy differences)

Watch my Share video review here!


Sliquid Organics Lube Profile

Name: Sliquid Organics Natural Gel

Manufacturer: Sliquid

Type: Water-base

Glycerin-free: Yes
Paraben-free: Yes
Organic: Yes

Ingredients: Organics Natural Gel Ingredients: Purified Water, Plant Cellulose (from Cotton), Aloe Barbadensis*, Natural Tocopherols (Vitamin E), Cyamopsis (Guar Conditioners), Extracts of Hibiscus*, Flax*, Green Tea* & Sunflower Seed*, Citric Acid (Citrus Fruits), Phenoxyethanol (Rose Ether)
* Organic botanical extracts are independently certified by Quality Certification Services in compliance with the USDA National Organic Program.

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Read the entirety of my Sliquid Organic Natural Gel review!


silky

Silky Dildo Profile

Name: Silky

Material: Elastomer

Manufacturer: Vibratex

Length: 6 inches
Thickness: 2 1/2 inches

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Watch my Silky video review here!


Sex Clean Toy Cleaner Profile

Name: Sex Clean Toy Cleaner

Manufacturer: S.D. Variations

Paraben-free: No
Organic: No

Ingredients: Purified water, coco Glucoside, Methyl Salycilate, Citric Acid, Quaternium-52, Methylparaben, F, D & C Blue No 1.

Rating: 1 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Horrible & Not Recommended

Read the entirety of my Sex Clean Toy Cleaner review here!

Reviews: I love LELO and Massages!

My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Fridays are supposed to be my promotion day on here, so here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!

liv

Liv Pleasure Object Profile

Name: Liv

Materials: Medical-grade Silicone (dark blue/pink) and ABS plastic (white).

Manufacturer: LELO (Luxury Erotic Lifestyle Objects)

Length: 4″ (insertable) 7″ (total including handle)
Thickness: 3/4″ (diameter)

What I love: Sleek and elegant look, curved for delicious g-spot stimulation, easy to use, comes with satin carrying bag and black storage box. Rechargeable, so no messing with batteries. Quality like no other.
What I don’t love: Controls are too easy to hit and accidentally change the vibration setting while in the moment.

Rating: 5/5

Watch the entirety of my Liv video review here!


elise

Elise Pleasure Object Profile

Name: Elise

Materials: Medical-grade Silicone and ABS plastic.

Manufacturer: LELO.

Length: 8 1/4″ (total) – 5 1/4″ (insertable)
Thickness: 1 1/4″ (diameter) – 4 1/2″ (around)

What I love: Two separate vibration centers, one at the tip and one at the base! Rechargeable, so no messing with batteries. Thick black satin carrying bag and black storage box. All-black vibrator (I’m a sucker for black toys). Curved for the g-spot, great for clitoral vibration as well but inserting Elise is what she is made for. Super quiet.
What I don’t love: What’s not to love?

Rating: 5/5

Watch the entirety my video review of the Elise here!


bo

Bo Cock Ring Profile

Name: Bo

Materials: Body-safe ABS (top vibrating part) and TPE (bottom stretchy ring)

Manufacturer: LELO.

Rating: 5/5

Onyx’s Experience

Being the partner of a sex blogger and sex toy reviewer has many benefits. One of the primary ones is that I get to play with a lot of really fun and exciting toys without even having to be the one writing the reviews. Granted while some of the toys she receives are primarily for her pleasure, almost all of them are great for partner play and I probably get at least as much pleasure from playing with them as she does.

Watch the video review and read both Onyx and my experience and impressions of the Bo here!


Intimate Organics Sensual Massage Oil Snippit

Who doesn’t love massages? Giving or receiving can be equally enjoyable, and massage oil just makes the whole process easier and, well, smoother.

This Cocoa Bean & Goji Berry Aromatherapy Massage Oil is made by Intimate Organics, the same makers of the Hydra Lubricant I reviewed last week. Like their lubricant, their massage oil is also paraben free, DEA free, pure vegan, and organic!

I wasn’t sure how much I would like the scent of it. Cocoa Bean & Goji Berry, while sounding odd and intriguing, also sounded possibly also unpleasant. Unfortunately too many times when lotions or other body products go for a chocolatey smell it comes out horrible…

Read the rest of the Massage Oil review here!

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