Month: January 2009 Page 2 of 3

Whirlwind

On January 19, 2009

If you follow me on twitter you already know this, but, I have officially moved to Seattle.

The last couple weeks have been crazyinsane trying to get everything together for moving and such. It’s been wonderful, but busy busy busy. Exciting but stressful. But more than worth it.

The apartment we have is about four blocks from Babeland Seattle, which was accidental but wonderful! We are going to an event there on the 31st, a rope bondage class taught by Midori! I’m pretty excited about it.

We got here Saturday afternoon, after driving most of the day Friday and the morning of Saturday. We had food, unpacked, and then said goodbye to our neighbormates who drove with us up here. We wanted them to stay the night, but they wanted to get over the pass before nightfall. We’re comforted by the fact that they will come back, and then we’ll know where to take them.

We’ve mostly been exploring our new neighborhood for the last couple days, getting acquainted and used to the area. We are basically right in the middle of everything! Right in between downtown and capitol hill, a very perfect location.

There are so many other things to say, but I need to get some sleep so I can wake up early to watch Obama’s inauguration!!!

Size & Sexuality Study – Nadia West

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 15, 2009

In Adipose, Sex Blogging, Size & Sexuality Survey

Number 156 from The Adipositivity Project

This is the third of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.

Read the first: Size & Sexuality Study – luna[KM]
Read the second: Size & Sexuality Study – icecoldbath

Nadia West is a mid 30s relatively femme woman who is bisexual and polyamorous with two men currently. She blogs at Diary of a Kinky Librarian and also twitters as Nadia West.

What size is your body?
women’s size 18, taller than average, chubby

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
There seems to be two levels of how I look at my body – on one level, I feel fat and I know that socially I’m not considered attractive body-wise. I also should be healthier and in better shape. But on the other level I have no problem being naked at sex parties and whatnot – I’m really comfortable with my body in those situations. I think sexiness isn’t necessarily tied to what your body looks like.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
I’ve gotten generally more comfortable with it. I rarely get down on myself for being overweight like I used to – I figure I need to either accept it or do something about it. Feeling bad about myself won’t change things.

How important is sexuality to your life?
VERY!

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I keep getting more and more comfortable with my sexuality. I think I’m more comfortable seeking out what works for me than I was when I was younger.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
I’m pretty comfortable. Now that’s not to say that sometimes I don’t feel undesired compared to thinner women at swing clubs, but once I’m in a sexual situation I’m really comfortable and not worried about what my body looks like.

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Society wants to say that I’m fat and flabby and therefore unattractive and not sexual.

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Certainly, feeling comfortable with your body will help you feel comfortable with your sexuality and vice versa. Once you accept your body as a source of pleasure it’s hard to hate it so much.

Pleasurists #12

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 12, 2009

In Link Carnivals

Geisha by Steal Your Soul Photography

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #11? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #13? Submit it here before Sunday January 26th at 11:59pm PST. Note: there will be no Pleasurists next week, January 19th due to the editrix moving to Seattle. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to be part of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers List of 2008?

Nominate your favorite Sex Toy Reviewers! Deadline: January 25th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win a Pink Kink Kit! Deadline: January 26th, 2009
Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Fun Factory Laya Spot by Thursday’s Child

I think I might finally understand all of the buzz surrounding the Laya Spot! I’m a fan of strong vibrators, and most of the battery powered vibrators just can’t compare to my go-to vibrator, the Hitachi Magic Wand. But this funny little vibrator is strong! Really strong. And quiet, too!

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Play Piercing (HNT)

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 9, 2009

In Introspection

Remember my XXXmas Wishlist? Well, if you follow me on twitter than you already know this, but I got the Advanced Play Piercing Kit that I was wanting from that list, and I haven’t been able to stop piercing myself since!

This was actually my first multi-needle piercing in myself. I attempted to do two once before this, which is what the big bruise next to the piercings is from. I was doing one on each thigh, and the second one I put in I think I either went too deep or just hit a vein or something so it bled a lot and bruised like mad (as you can see). The bruise is still there, a week later, and still very noticeable. It’ll take a while to go away.

I absolutely adore my kit, I’m sure I’ll review it some time this month. I went and got purple nitrile gloves to use with it, too, as the gloves that were supposed to come with it were left out accidentally. We’re getting them, but I wanted gloves immediately, of course, and purple nitrile gloves are just awesome, and purple (obviously), so I really dig them. I’m not allergic to latex, but I’ve had a reaction to it before so I don’t want to develop one and avoid latex whenever possible.

It took me a while to get to the point where I could pierce myself, but once I did it was easy. I now have even more of a desire to become a piercer, as I know how easy it is and how much I enjoy doing it. This may be something I explore in Seattle. I know that professional piercing and play piercing aren’t identical, but they are very similar, of course.

I’ve pierced Onyx a few times, too, which has been fun. I’m not sure if he enjoyed it or if he was just doing it for me, but he was the one who suggested it, I think because he knew I wanted to, he’s very accommodating like that.

So there’s my HNT, a little late, but only because I couldn’t find my card reader yesterday, so I’m posting it a day late. I think play piercings are pretty. How ’bout you?

Back to Basics: My BDSM Desires

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 8, 2009

In a Love: Onyx, Identity: Submissive, Identity: Top, Introspection

Number 184 from The Adipositivity Project

Since we have dismissed the Dominus/submissive power structure from our relationship I have been thinking a lot about what worked and what didn’t with us in those roles and what I want in general. While I enjoy where we are now, and think that is what works best for our relationship, I still find myself wanting more.

I have been feeling more submissive lately in general, but not with Onyx. I have the desire to submit still in me, and while Onyx and I do play along those lines it’s not the same as what I want.

We’ve come to realize and embrace the fact that he and I desire play on different levels. We switch along a Top/bottom level, as he’s a bedroom-only player, yet I desire BDSM along a Dom/sub level or even an Owner/slave level much of the time.

At the beginning of our relationship I was trying to make him fit into the mold I wanted, what I desired, and it never worked because that’s just not part of him. He convinced himself that was what he wanted as well, but we now both know that it won’t work. We’ve accepted that now, and it’s made our relationship better because of it.

I enjoy the feeling of comfort that embracing our switchy natures has brought to the relationship. We’ve always been rather perfect for each other in every other aspect, just never quite fit right D/s wise, which was part of why I started this blog, to talk about our relationship and other relationships I/we might have. Now we fit remarkably well, but I’m still missing something.

I desire to own and to be owned. I need that. D/s are not roles for me, they are me, they are my life. I’m a 24/7 switch, which is contrary to the usual idea of 24/7, but for me it works. It’s not something I slip into and out of, it’s something I want and am all the time, something I shape my life around, but because I fit into different roles it’s difficult to explain.

Lucky for me, both Onyx and I are poly, so there is no need for us to disband our relationship for me to get what I need. We’ve talked about the possibility of me having another partner, and of bringing someone in to our relationship, both of which I am all for, and we are finally at our most comfortable, not trying to be something that we’re not, so now I’m comfortable to look for another or others.

I’m still very much the cuntpet that I defined oh so long ago, the definition that was the catalyst for this blog. I’m very much the Domina that I’ve found myself to be, and now that Onyx and I have found our perfect situation as Top/bottom switches it’s time for me to find others I can explore my cuntpet and Domina sides with.

My perfect situation would be a foursome for me, with or without the others interacting I’m not positive. Switching with Onyx, a Domina to serve, and a sub/slave to serve me, that would be my perfect combination, plus social play partners and such as well. The best of all worlds. Though I’m open to whoever may come along that fits with me, but that is my current ideal (which is, as always, subject to change).

There is quite an extensive scene up in Seattle, and I intend to dive into it headfirst and not bother looking back. I’m finally at the place where socialization is necessary and desired, and Seattle will be a much better place to do so than Salt Lake has been. I’ve already been looking around at the community there, as well as events and such, and I’m more than ready to get out of this state and live somewhere comfortable. T-minus eight days.

Size & Sexuality Study – icecoldbath

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 6, 2009

In Adipose, Sex Blogging, Size & Sexuality Survey

Number 220 from The Adipositivity Project

This is the second of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The answers have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information here.

Read the first: Size & Sexuality Study – luna[KM]

icecoldbath is a 20 year old female (she says: “I can haz vajayjay?” – yay for lolspeak) who is pansexual. She blogs at Confessions of Promiscuity and also twitters as icecoldbath.

What size is your body?
Well let’s see, I’m a size 20-22 in pants. But I’m 5’5″ 250lbs, and I genetically have a bigger tummy than the rest of my body, but I’m pretty well proportioned.

How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
With my body in general, I’m content. My body size specially, I’m happy with it, I’m plus size, I’m sexy, I’m voluptuous, curvy.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
Oh geez, when I was younger I definitely went through that “I hate my body” stage. I’ve come to love my body a lot more than I used to. Although, from time to time, I do get a little upset with my body size, I know that I’m sexy and my body is definitely a main factor in that. As far as body size, well yeah, I’ve gained a few pounds. Okay, like 50 in the past couple of years.

How important is sexuality to your life?
Sexuality is a big part of my life. As crazy as this sounds, when I first got my nipples pierced, that’s when I really started to feel sexy. After that, I explored different revenues of sexual expression and who I am sexually.

How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I have definitely grown sexually over the years. I had my first sexual encounter at the age of 14. Needless to say my thoughts were “that’s it?”. Obviously we all grow as time goes on, so my sexuality evolved as well. As far as my attitude toward my sexuality, I’ve always been comfortable in it and with it, I never doubted that I enjoyed sex, sex that my peers at the time were astonished by (kink) at the time.

How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
As of this year, I’ve really opened up with my body. I’m not afraid to show someone how I like something done, in the bedroom. I’m not worried about what stereotypes or judgements may fall on me. I like sex, I know that I like sex, and if you aren’t doing it right, I’ll let you know.

How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Society in general isn’t comfortable seeing a scarred, fat, pierced, tattooed, stretch marked woman. That’s fine by me, because one day, all these skinny bitches will be out of the magazines and all us big girls will be the ones on the cover. Watch out Suicide Girls – big girl’s comin’ through!

Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
I’ve noticed that to feel comfortable in your sexuality, you need to feel comfortable in your body. To feel comfortable in your body, it’s not necessary, but pretty important to be comfortable in your sexuality.

Anything else you would like to add?
We’re a generation of fattastic, fatgasmic women. Let’s embrace that, and show the world that we aren’t afraid to wear a corset and thong, so what if we have stretch marks. Big is beautiful, and damnit, I’m proud to show you my naked body!

Pleasurists #11

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 5, 2009

In Link Carnivals

From Scaudon Photodesign

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #10? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #12? Submit it here before Sunday January 11th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to be part of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers List of 2008?

Nominate your favorite Sex Toy Reviewers! Deadline: January 25th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

On to the reviews…

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Best Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008 Nominations!

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 5, 2009

In Link Carnivals, Sex Blogging

Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek are teaming up to put together the (first annual?) Best Sex Toy Reviewers List for 2008 which will be featured on Pleasurists!

We know a lot of reviewers, but we don’t know all of you out there, so that’s where you come in! We have many reviewers in mind already, but we are also looking for nominations from you all to give us a good idea of who you think is fit to be on the list of the best sex toy reviewers of 2008!

The nomination information:

You can’t nominate yourself, but feel free to (and please do!) re-post this on your blog, that way your readers may want to nominate you for the list.
If someone is already nominated you can nominate them as well. The nominations someone receives may factor in to the final listing, so nominate everyone, even if someone’s already mentioned them.
To qualify the person must have reviews up (well, obviously). Preferably multiple reviews not just one or two.
You can nominate as many reviewers as you’d like, but please keep in mind this is a list of the best of the best. So, try to give me the absolute best five or ten reviewers rather than a huge long list.
Nominations are open until January 25th and the list of reviewers will be posted January 31st.

You must go to Pleasurists to nominate people. Nominate your choices in the comments of the post on Pleasurists! Or, if you would prefer your nominations to be private feel free to send an email to scarletsexgeek at gmail dot com.

Review: 3/8x30in Red Acrylic Cane

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 5, 2009

In Sex Toy Love

Note: I can’t find my card reader for my camera, but once I do I will have a custom picture up, not the stock photo.

I love canes. No, really. I mean, I often hate them as well, especially while they are being used, but I think they (can) feel great, look super sexy, and leave the prettiest marks and bruises of any impact play implement. So, when looking around at the various BDSM and Fetish Products on SexToy.Com I was instantly attracted to this gorgeous (and extremely affordable) acrylic cane.

Cane’s aren’t usually very expensive, but can range from next to nothing to around $25 or $30 at the maximum depending on material and quality of craft. I don’t think I’ve seen a cane for more than $25, though I could be wrong. They can be used lightly for more of a not too painful burning sensation, or up to a harsh sharp sting depending on the type and force of the blow. They are often scary to some, who associate canes with extreme pain, and while they can produce that if desired they can also be a wonderful (and inexpensive) addition to any toybox.

I have wanted an acrylic cane for a long time, mostly because I think they are absolutely gorgeous. I’m a color coordinator by nature, and I love to have all colors matching, including my toys to my restraints/rope/cuffs, clothes/lingerie, and etc. so acrylic canes are perfect for that. They are also just pretty in general, and prettier (I think) than natural canes, which is the other kind of cane we have.

The first cane we bought is rattan (I think) and the same shape as this one. It’s thicker than my new acrylic cane, but about the same length, 30 inches long. I find the length to be perfect, not too long to be annoying but long enough to get some nice good swings. The red acrylic cane is a lot more bendable than the other cane I have, and also stings more both because of it’s bendability as well as being thinner in diameter. The thinner the cane the more sting it produces.

Because it’s stingier that didn’t wholly endear it to me. I prefer my canings to burn more than sting, it’s a slight difference but definitely important. Although the way a cane is used also greatly impacts the type of sensation received, and this cane is easy to produce many different kinds of sensation with. I’m planning on getting the 1/4x20in Red Acrylic Cane to compare and contrast as well.

Find the Red Acrylic Cane along with other BDSM and Fetish Products and sex toys of every flavor on SexToy.Com.

Much thanks to SexToy.Com for letting me review the 3/8x30in Red Acrylic Cane!

In 2009…

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On January 4, 2009

In Introspection

Like many others, I’m not a big fan of resolutions. Instead I prefer to set goals that may actually be attainable, or ones that aren’t just to see if I can do them. So…

In 2009 I want to:

Move to Seattle! – We’re 99.9% sure it will happen the weekend of the 16th of January, probably heading out of here the morning of the 17th.

Comment more. – There are so many wonderful blogs out there that I read, and many more that I’m sure I don’t, and I don’t comment most of the time, even sometimes if I feel like it. I know I love it when I get comments, so I want to spread the love around! I just need to start doing it.

Write more smut. – Something I keep telling myself I’m going to do, but end up failing at it. I’m not very secure in my smut-writing abilities, and to get better at it I really need to write more of it. Plus, you all seem to like it when I do.

Get a job (that I enjoy). – Somewhat self-explanatory. I’ve been out of work for five months now, and while it’s been kind of enjoyable (but also stressful to not have a job) I need to get one, and I think it’ll be easier to get one in Seattle. Looking at sex shops there but unsure if they’re hiring, also just about anywhere, there are lots more opportunities there.

Get healthier. – I was doing really well with going to the gym for a while there in 2008 after coming back from Juneau, but I’ve lapsed a bit on it. The apartment we’re (probably) moving in to has both a gym and a pool in the complex, so I’ll have no excuses not to work out. I’m not as focused on weight-loss as I am general health and wellbeing, feeling better and moving better, but I’m also not opposed to losing weight should that also occur.

Take more photographs. – My 365 portraits project will help with that, though I really want to take photos of others as well. I really enjoy portraits and pin-up type photos of others and want to do more of that in this year.

Figure out grad school. – Meaning, figure out what I want to get in Seattle before going to IASHS in San Fran. We’ll end up being in Seattle for a few years before going down there, and I think I want to get a Masters from UW but I’m not sure in what. Possibly creative writing. Maybe something else.

Do something sexual I’ve never done before. – Multiple partners, perhaps. Or a number of other things. Sex in public, maybe. I’m not sure. Something sexy that I haven’t done. I should make a list of things I haven’t done that I want to do too.

Get my drivers license. – I know, it’s crazy. I don’t have a license to drive and I never have. It’s just never happened, and although I’ve needed one it’s never been the right time. Plus, if I got one in Oregon or Utah it would disqualify me for the PFD from Alaska, so I never got one in the last four plus years living outside of Alaska because of that. I will get one in Washington.

Continue to learn and grow. – I think it’s nearly impossible not to do this one, really, but it’s something I want to highlight every year.