I have been trying to come up with better terms for what I engage in than Master/Mistress and slave. I think I need a combination of Owner/cunt, Owner/pet, and Owner/(sexual) servant. So maybe I’m a sexual service cuntpet? Heh. Perhaps pet can encompass all of these?
What I mean by this: Owner/cunt as described by cunt is something I take to mean as having fun with bratting, in many ways, and being able to mouth off and protest and curse and do all the things a “proper slave” is supposedly not supposed to do. These are things I enjoy to do at times, though not at others. Well, correction, I’m a smart-ass all the time, regardless, and I am a brat quite often, though not always for the aim of being forced into submission. I enjoy being forced and overpowered and just, well, dominated. I definitely have a force fetish. However, I do enjoy service also, I do enjoy other aspects of slavehood, not just being forced. Thus, the other aspects.
My service is primarily sexual, though not only. I enjoy doing for him in whatever way he needs, as a symbol or signal of my submission to him and as a gesture of my love, adoration, and worship of not only him but also our chosen dynamic. I love serving him sexually, being told what to do, ordered around, and also just giving that service to him. We have expanded my service to other mundane things such as making and serving him food and drinks (which I would do anyway, but we have made it into more of an expression of my submission by adding gesture and word to it should we be alone, or simply eye contact and both of us mentally acknowledging my gift at that point). I enjoy doing menial mundane things for him as well as the sexual service which I readily and eagerly provide.
Master calls me pet, I think it’s his favorite term for me, really. I have always fancied my submission as being a mixture of pampered pet and dirty whore, and my idea of Owner/pet is that of a pampered pet as well as an eager follower. Pets can be strong and willful, independent, stubborn, and spirited, while at the same time being able to be tamed or broken. One of my favorite quotes, which Kat introduced me to, and I don’t remember who it is by, but she may let us know in a comment and I will amend this: “A wild horse doesn’t need to be broken. If she is tamed properly she will still have fire in her eyes while eating out of the palm of your hand.” This is really what I mean when I say “broken.” I don’t mean broken in an unhealthy sort of way, or in a way that would squelch my spirit and self, but in a way that would tame me for the time being, with the knowledge and desire for me to become strong and willful and etc. again, but also be able to have this “broken” or tamed space within which I can be as well.
This may be the best for an overall idea, Owner/pet, though I think that “pet” carries different connotations than those I would be using them for, but maybe that’s okay, because, really, no matter what word I use it will have some sort of connotation or another. Perhaps I just need a new word altogether, but even that would carry a connotation in a sense. Perhaps “cuntpet” is a more fitting and accurate term, which carries with it damn near the connotations that I would like associated with it and me and my submission. So, after all this musing, I come back to what I said at the beginning of the entry: so maybe I’m a sexual service cuntpet. Or just cuntpet for short.
Though, this doesn’t address my generalization issues, as mentioned in the last post as well, that this is rather specifically a female term, and though I do know some boys are called cunt too, I’m not sure if it would work. However, at this point I’m not as much worried about it generalizing as I am about just wanting something which is individually mine. Maybe that’s all that matters. Cuntpet is me, and very specific.