Pleasure is my business, my life, my joy, my purpose.

Tag: quotes

Detroit Annie, Hitchhiking


I’ve posted this poem before, about a year and a half ago but I’ve recently re-discovered my love for it and also found I could share the audio version with you all. I was first introduced to it on Ani DiFranco’s live album at Carnegie Hall and fell in love with it immediately.

The image above is a wall hanging my sister made for me with the poem on it (obviously) but it’s also below as well as Ani DiFranco reading it.

I’m not entirely sure what it is about the poem that hits me, maybe it’s how I imagine myself to be or how I used to be… I’m not much for analyzing poetry even though I’m one for analyzing myself.

I’ve used the first line “Her words pour out as if her throat were a broken artery and her mind were cut-glass, carelessly handled” for quite some time on my livejournal and I’ve been thinking of incorporating it here somewhere as well, I love the imagery and it’s definitely how I think of my posts sometimes.

Ani talks a bit before getting into the poem, but this player doesn’t allow you to skip forward so you’ll have to listen to it to get to the poem, but I promise it’s worth it.

by Judy Grahn

Her words pour out as if her throat were a broken
artery and her mind were cut-glass, carelessly handled.
You imagine her in a huge velvet hat with great
dangling black feathers,
but she shaves her head instead
and goes for three-day midnight walks.
Sometimes she goes down to the dock and dances
off the end of it, simply to prove her belief
that people who cannot walk on water
are phonies, or dead.
When she is cruel, she is very, very cool
and when she is kind she is lavish.
Fisherman think perhaps she’s a fish, but they’re all
fools. She figured out that the only way
to keep from being frozen was to
stay in motion, and long ago converted
most of her flesh into liquid. Now when she
smells danger, she spills herself all over,
like gasoline, and lights it.
She leaves the taste of salt and iron
under your tongue, but you dont mind
The common woman is as common
as the reddest wine.

Examination of Two Queered Genders

Here’s a snippit of my latest post on The Femme’s Guide, though you’ll have to go there to finish it.

Much by accident I just came across this quote:

Marilyn was revered as a tigress, but she was loved (and pitied) as a kitten. In that sense her sexuality did not present a challenge; vulnerability made her manageable–it guaranteed her femininity.

The threat of other lustful man-killers is diminished by intimations of their androgyny. Mae West looked all girl but her style was decidedly butch. “It’s [men’s] game,” she says with trademark smarminess of her multiple, casual seductions in She Done Him Wrong. “I happen to be smart enough to play it their way.” Marlene Dietrich in tux and top hat is also both hyperfeminine and faux homme, a man in drag in drag. –My Enemy, My Love By Judith Levine p. 92

It goes on to talk about the book’s real point in bringing this up: the antipode to the Seducer or femme fatale, The Slave. But, that’s not really what intrigued me about it. I especially love this line: Mae West looked all girl but her style was decidedly butch. It is an angle I hadn’t really contemplated before, but basically Mae West as femme. It’s pretty damn obvious now that I’m thinking about it, but it just wasn’t a connection I’d made before. Though she wasn’t queer in the sense of sleeping with women, but she did have an affinity toward gay men and wrote The Drag.

The two ways used to describe Mae West and Marlene Dietrich are both incredibly queer, while Marilyn Monroe is more of an archetype for traditional femininity. Mae West was femme in look, butch in action, or simply a description of a type of queer femininity, or simply femmeininity. Marlene Dietrich was a man in drag in drag, a queer masculinity on a female body so that it is not the same as masculine because it is also overtly feminine.

Read the rest! It’s fabulous, so go.

101 Ideas…

I found this via a livejournal friend, and although I don’t agree with all of them exactly, I think they are all interesting and useful as ideas and not necessarily to be replicated word for word. I wouldn’t mind having a lot of these implemented within my own relationship, however, and I agree with the sentiment at the beginning of the piece, that to feel truly owned having a lot of little things which remind you of that constantly are very important.

This is obviously meant for a M/f relationship, but I think it mostly can be translated, though maybe not perfectly. From 101 ideas to make Your slave feel Owned (i.e. loved) (technically there are 107 listed)

“One of the main factors, for me in feeling truly Owned is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded of her submission, the deeper it becomes….and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas You might want to try… And no matter what rules You decide to make Your own, please….be consistent. If You are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules You make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master/Mistress who ignores her transgressions and does not exert Their Dominance.

1. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission.

2. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as You punish….and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong.

3. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters Your house.

4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one, and have her wear it as often as possible.

5. Have her call You each day at a specified time, no excuses.

6. Give her anklets and tell her she must wear one of them every day, no excuses.

7. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her kneel before You and ask to accompany You upon the furniture.

8. Choose her hairstyle and go with her to get it cut to Your specifications.

9. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her display herself whenever You come into the room…..legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position You take, she is to be sure Your view is unobstructed

10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure she has an alternative title for You besides Master…..such as “my Love” etc.

11. Use her sexually in a rough, selfish way when You feel like it….interrupting whatever she was doing.

12. Chose a food that she dislikes and have her eat a small portion every day for a week.

13. Have her crawl to bed each night.

14. Bring her a stuffed animal each time You go out of town. ~grin~

15. Choose her clothing each day.

16. Have her get Your daily wardrobe ready for You the night before….laid out, ironed etc.

17. After punishment, have her kiss Your boots and thank You for loving her enough to correct her.

18. Have her bring a warm towel and wash and massage Your feet each day after work.

19. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location).

20. Get her pierced (or preferably if You are trained, do it Yourself).

21. Get her branded.

22. Respect, but push her limits.

23. Ask her each night what she did that day that You would not have approved of. *grin* This gets her in the habit of being completely honest, and also makes her conscious of the things she could do better each day.

24. Teach her exactly how You want her to kneel, and demand perfection.

25. Reward her by allowing her to please You sexually.

26. Supervise her workout routine.

27. Each night she is to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with her Master, and each night she does, she is to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank her Master for the privilege.

28. Have her polish Your boots weekly, on her knees at Your feet.

29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract.

30. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain – 1000 words”

31. Have her keep a diary of her journey into submission.

32. Instruct her that she may never get herself something to eat or drink in Your presence without first asking You if You want something.

33. Some evenings, keep her on a leash and take her with You no matter what You do….even if You do not speak to her or include her in Your activities.

34. When appropriate, she is to speak when spoken to.

35. Reward her by giving her delicious pleasure.

36. On occasion, share her.

37. When it suits You, instruct her not to make eye contact with You without Your command.

38. Have her keep her body clean shaven at all times.

39. Conduct random inspections of her body to make sure she keeps herself to Your specifications.

40. Make her wear a butt-plug under her clothes whenever she goes out alone.

41. For transgressions: have her write Your name on the bottom of her foot and tell her to remember she is walking on You with each step. (This is harder to do that You might think….)

42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare…..

43. Give her reading assignments.

44. Test her on the reading assignments, to make sure she learned the appropriate lessons from each.

45. Instruct her to keep her toenails painted perfectly everyday, and check to see that they are before bed

46. Make it her responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment, and to keep them clean and neat.

47. Reward her by letting her name her favorite scene, toys, etc.

48. Call her Your slut, Your pet, etc.

49. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make her the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed.

50. Work with her, having her do the things on the list (if possible), so that she conquers those fears and hesitations.

51. Sometimes, pamper her…..wash her body and hair, having her remain perfectly still as You turn her and move her about.

52. Hand feed her like a small child on occasion.

53. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion.

54. For transgressions: make her wear a sign to the next public function naming her crime. (ouch)

55. Praise her dedication when she has pleased You well.

56. Instruct her that she is never to touch Your body without permission.

57. Have her write a meditation about her submission, devotion and trust in You….to be said aloud each night before falling asleep.

58. Some days allow her no clothing whatsoever (when practical).

59. For transgressions: deny her play. No pain for you, bad girl….hehehe.

60. In the same ilk, For transgressions: deny her orgasm…..give her sex, but she can’t cum.

61. For transgressions: Command that she is to be silent for a week. She may not speak, and will take whatever pain or pleasure You give as silently as possible.

62. Treat her like a pet in front of friends, making her present herself, turn herself, etc.

63. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience – 1000 words”

64. Have her wear a toe ring.

65. Tell her one morning that she must cum for You 15 times that day, and then write about the day.

66. Have her wear nipple clamps under her clothing out to dinner.

67. On Your birthday, let her receive Your spankings.

68. Spend time training her how to move gracefully to please You.

69. For transgressions: stand her in the corner like a 3 year old.

70. Always flog her after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.

71. Speak about her as if she were not present.

72. For transgressions: deny her any D/s at all for a week…..letting her do just as she pleases, not allowing her to serve You in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame her and certainly make her strive to please You when it is over and she is in her place again.

73. Defend her honor to those who would disrespect Your prized possession.

74. Pet her often.

75. Make her be webMistress for Your huge site, DallasBDSM. hehehehe

76. Whenever possible (i.e. no young-uns about), have her sleep in a cage.

77. Buy her sexy or slutty clothes to Your liking.

78. Teach her things….expand her knowledge… a patient Fatherly way.

79. When You are away, call her and have her masturbate for You.

80. If You choose to play with others, make sure Your slave knows who is first in Your heart…..and that some things are just for her.

81. Remember her birthday.

82. Le
ad her with a loving fist in her hair.

83. Wake her each morning with an assigned task for the day…..and make sure it is done by day’s end.

84. Teach her patience.

85. Videotape Your sessions and watch them together.

86. On long trips, have her wear double dildo latex underwear.

87. Hand feed her chocolate.

88. Have her place her regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside, or the buckles buckled. Inspect them periodically.

89. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book….let her slip for a while…thinking You are not noticing…..then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement.

90. Tickle her just because You can.

91. Have her be perfectly still and quiet while You bring her extreme pleasure…..when she moves or makes a sound punish her then return to the pleasure.

92. Keep her locked in her collar when You are home. You place it on her…..having her kneel. Wear the key to the lock around Your neck.

93. When possible, have her cook and serve Your dinner wearing nothing but an apron and collar.

94. Buy her a Polaroid camera and give her assignments to take pictures of herself for You in certain outfits or positions, etc.

95. Remember to kiss and caress away her tears.

96. Don’t be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are Yours as well.

97. Take her and the dog to the park, both on leashes.

98. Caress her, whisper into her ear that You love her, nibble on her belly, lick her thighs and make love to her until she cries.

99. Have her fall asleep with Your cock in her mouth and tell her You expect it to be there when You awake.

100. Occasionally, fulfill her fantasy.

101. Master’s word is the last word.


102. Make sure that she is safe at all times….when with You and when You are apart (to the best of Your ability). Keep her vehicle in good working order, make sure she has emergency money and a cell phone to call for help if needed.

103. Be consistent.

104. Take the time to talk to her…..learn her fears, her dreams and fantasies. Use Your knowledge.

105. When You go out of town, forbid her to shave her sex. Shave her Yourself when You return.

106. Specify exactly how she will address You in private and in public.

107. If You are willing to correct her each time she forgets until it is a habit, have her refer to herself as “this slave” or “this girl” etc.

Comments? Critiques? What do y’all think of these ideas?

Anais Nin Quotes

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.”

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish it’s source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

“When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.”

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ”

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live richly and darkly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, god, as a woman i want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, and possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”

I love the last two, but have issue with it at the same time, probably because of its implied heterosexuality, but also because they hinge on womanhood and femaleness. I am trying to find a new quote to use, and none of them quite work, because they’re all about men and women and I want one more ambiguous. I suppose I could change some wording, but… I don’t know. I mean, granted, I’m with a man right now, and I love him very much, but we are also poly and I also love women and need a woman in my life, and I don’t consider it the natural place of women to be submissive to men, so here lies the problem. I will stick to what I had before, but I’m still wanting a new quote, dammit.

Rhetorical Gymnastics

Postmodernism is “ultimately meaningless rhetorical gymnastics” according to some.

Yes, yes it is. And I love it.

This was posted on another site, apparently this is what it used to say before a rewrite?
“Postmodernism’s proponents are often criticised for a tendency to indulge in exhausting, verbose stretches of rhetorical gymnastics, which critics feel sound important but are ultimately meaningless. (Some postmodernists may argue that this is precisely the point). calum, from wikepedia, Feb 19,2005”


The Slave Heart

“A slave is a man or woman who has a special heart — a heart that requires a connection with another person in order to find completeness in their life. A person is born with slave heart — he cannot be “made” into a slave nor can wishing to be one bring it about. It is a natural state. A slave may actualize their destiny by choosing to live in obedience to another person’s will and to serve that person — their Master or Mistress — in obedience. Most slaves are very bright and capable, and they may make many decisions every day affecting other people, large sums of money, important projects, and so on. But slaves generally do not make decisions easily or well that concern themselves, and that is one of the reasons they seek a Master — to form that point of centeredness from which to live their lives.

“Someone may have “heart of slave” and be on a journey toward actualizing their destiny without yet having found the Master their heart tells them to give their life to. And others may feel drawn toward slavery but not yet know their hearts…

“Once a slave truly understands that their existence is more complete and fulfilled in being obedient, everything else falls into place. A slave speaks in order to convey requested information or to request information about the Master’s intentions. A slave eats, sleeps, washes, exercises, takes medication, and so on in order to remain healthy and avaliable for service. Slaves labor at tasks assigned by their Master or hold an outside job so that they can contribute to the Master’s household and not be a financial burden. Anything a slave is allowed to do for personal gratification is a gift from their Master, not a right. When this aspect of slave heart is realized, slaves start to find peace in their lives.”

from from APEX ACADEMY/BUTCHMANNS Protocol for slaves quoted by Robert J Rubel in his book Protocols: Handbook for the female slave

24/7 M/s

“We would like to point out that living full-time in role is not the “gold standard” of BDSM. We see far too many players who feel that is they’re not “24/7,” they’re somehow wrong, or not “real” dominants. If this doesn’t sound like the way you want to live, if BDSM is a more comfortable fit in your life when you keep it in scene and drop roles the rest of the time, don’t let anybody tell you that you’re inferior. However, if full-time BDSM does feel like a good fit for you, we encourage you to try it”

“We’ve been friends with many people in full-time dominant/submissive relationships. Our observation is that when we spend time with such people as friends, we rarely see them behaving in ways much different than any other couple: the day-to-day demands of running a life remain the same, and must be addressed by someone or other. And almost nobody can be in full control of everything at every waking moment–or would like to be. While the dominants in novels (and sometimes chatrooms) express their dominance nonstop, in reality this approach doesn’t often work out very well.
“However, what we do see in successful D/S couples is a very strong ability to read each other’s signals and a very fluid approach to moving in and out of their dominant and submissive mindsets–so the couple who at one moment is discussing someone’s problems at work may at the next moment be in full dominant/submissive mode, with the dominance in complete control and the submissive completely pliable to hir will.
“What kinds of signals do these people give each other to make such extraordinary transitions possible? Some might be consciously chosen, like using a particular name (“boy” or “girl,” for example) or a particular behavior (a submissive kneeling, a dominant placing hir hand on the back of the submissive’s neck). Others are less conscious,more intuitive–a tone of voice, a shift in body language. Longtime D/S couples grow extremely skilled in reading such signals and responding to each other’s shifting needs and desires as the moment dictates.”
From The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

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