Month: November 2007

Power Drag

On November 29, 2007

This is just a draft, I’m working on organizing my ideas of this, once I get it down perfectly I’m going to post it to communities and such.

This concept was actually the idea of Lisa Diamond, Ph.D, a professor of mine here at the University of Utah. We were talking about BDSM in my Gender and Sexual Orientation class yesterday, and this is a concept which she came up with.

What does it mean?
The term “power drag” is playing on the same idea as gender drag is, most notably Judith Butler’s idea of performativity, that all gender is drag, all gender is constructed “woman is to drag not as original is to copy, but as copy is to copy. all gender is drag” (paraphrased). This does this by showing that gender is simply a performance, and regardless of the body that masculinity or femininity is placed upon it is still masculinity and femininity.
What power within BDSM and specifically D/s or M/s relations does is emphasize the power dynamics between the two people, going to one extreme of power, with absolute power and absolute submission, it is showing that power is a performance, and without an exchange of power no power can be gained or lost. Power drag shows that there is no natural power dynamic between people just as there is no natural gender.
However, just as one cannot escape gender, one cannot escape power dynamics either, but power drag brings awareness to the power dynamics between all people, not just people within BDSM relationships. It shows the constructedness of “natural” power, such as white dominance or male dominance, even when it is a white male dominating a non-white female there is still a choice being made as opposed to blindly accepting the dominance of the white male. Most obviously this constructedness or non-naturalness is shown when a female dominates a male or when a non-white person dominates a white person, or any other inequalites (age, class, ability, etc.).

Why is it important?
By exposing the non-naturalness of power dynamics between people we can begin to play with power (though we in BDSM have been doing that for a long time now already) and we show how power is fluid, and power dynamics can change from moment to moment. The realization of power drag could help both with keeping roles within relationships strict or being able to relax the usually strict roles within our relationships.

Gender drag is to Gender as Power drag is to Power?

What else? I’m sure there’s more I can/should talk about. What kinds of questions do you all have about this? What else should be included in a conceptualization of power drag? What else do I need to discuss?
This is so huge and I’m so excited by it that I don’t quite know how to cover everything or what I’m missing.

The Sacred and Shameless Sexcast (Kinkcast?)

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On November 28, 2007

In Introspection

I’m going to re-start my sexcast, and possibly rename it as well. It has been over a year since I did an episode, and I miss it, and have decided it’s something I need to get going again. I bought both sacredkinkcast.org and sacredsexcast.org (the latter is just a pointer to the former) and I’m going to revamp the layout soon and do things like that as well as start making new ones.

A little information for those of you who don’t know, I described the cast as “a blunt and honest sexcast exploring kinky sex, queer sex, sacredsexuality, and much more with interesting information, sex toy review,and erotica.”
You can listen to the promo here (it’s an mp3, click to listen if you have a qucktime or other type of mp3 player plugin, or right click and save as to listen to it on another mp3 player)

The first five which are out are all very basic, but you have to start basic in order to go into any sorts of detailed things. I have the next ~~two~~ three cast topics planned, and may ask for imput as I work on them. The first five definitely do get rambly, and I realize that. It’s been said that it’s good but it would be better if I was more organized, and so I’m going to work on that in my next ones.

I am thinking of changing the name as well. I’m not sure what to, I do want to keep sacred in there, maybe I could just change it to The Sacred KinkCast, as that is the domain I registered, though having shameless in there is kinda nice. Maybe I don’t need to change it at all… I don’t know. I’m going to keep the same format, I think, though maybe I will cut the story part of it and just have it information and sex toy review… so many choices!

Long and Winding Road

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On November 18, 2007

In a Love: Onyx

I suggested to Master today making a few manuals or perhaps just one manual with seperate sections, inspired by slave,kate’s last post. I think that would be a fabulous idea, and another way to get more definitions of what I am supposed to do and such. He seemed to like the idea. I also suggested we update our contract to add some of the new things we’re figuring out into it, as well as to review it and see what we put in there that we’re not doing/working on.

We don’t really have any set protocols yet, and that is something I would really like. In his expectations of me he said that he wants me to present to him every time he enters a room (a different way if we’re in the company of others, of course), and I haven’t asked for a specific on that, although I should, and this is a reminder to do so. I would also like for us to develop some verbal commands for different sitting positions and such, and define more some other body positions.

We have a long road ahead, but we’re trundling along. We’re making more progress than we have in the last two years (since he collared me). When we were apart there was a definite lack of M/s, then for a while after I moved here we were pretty much having kinky sex and that’s it, we did very little D/s let alone M/s, and now we’re working on both.

I feel happier in where we are than I have in a long time.

Anniverseries

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On November 18, 2007

In a Love: Onyx

Tomorrow is Master and my two year collaring annaversery.

Some other important dates (mostly so I’ll remember them, I couldn’t remember what day our annaversery was without looking at this):
Day we first started talking: January 10th, 2005 (he sent me porn)
Day we first had sex (online): January 23rd, 2005 (so hot)
Day we met face-to-face: July 28th, 2005 (also very hot… we hardly got out of bed all weekend)
Day He collared me: November 19th, 2005 (tricked me with giving me chocolate as my “surprise” first, then gave me the collar later that night)
Day I moved to SLC: August 28th, 2006
Day we signed our M/s contract: March 10th, 2007

I think that’s it…

The Paradox of Femme-ininity As Transgender Identity

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On November 11, 2007

In Gender Galaxy

The paper I wrote for my Gender and Sexual Orientation class. It is rather long and somewhat academic.

The Paradox of Femme-ininity As Transgender Identity

Simone de Beauvoir (1949) states in The Second Sex “one is not born a woman, but, rather, becomes one.” Judith Butler (1990) asserts in her analysis of gender in Gender Trouble that woman is to copy as copy is to copy, therefore there is no original when speaking of traditional gender roles or gender in and of itself, it is all a reproduction of something else. If these two statements are taken to be true, than anyone could become a woman, a man, or any other gender role which they desire. If women are not born then no other gendered identity is born either. Is gender, then, whatever we make of it?

Traditionally in our society gender roles are supposed to follow the sex which the gendered body is representing. Male bodies grow up to be men/masculine and female bodies grow up to be women/feminine. This isn’t always the case. Transgendered people throw off these two neatly defined gender categories which are socialized into us from day one. While multiple definitions can be applied to the term ‘transgender,’ it is generally and broadly defined as any gender deviance from the (two) traditional socially accepted genders (OutProud, 2007).

The term femme can have multiple meanings and interpretations as well: “[m]any femmes are lesbians, but femmes are also drag queens, straight sex workers, nelly fags, all strong women and sassy men” (Camilleri & Rose, 2002). Some have gone so far as to say “[t]rying to define femme is like trying to capture the essence of mystery” (Drinkwater, 2006) because it is an extremely subjectively defined identity, as all identities are. Specifically in this paper, however, the use of the gender femme in relation to genetic females who identify as femme will be examined.

Bender

By Tai Fenix Kulystin

On November 7, 2007

In Smut

Read in Episode #4 of The Sacred and Shameless Sexcast.

you had told me i was hot as a boy, and so i’ve decided to dress up for you this late saturday night. i grabbed clothing sneakily while you were in the bathroom and went downstairs to put it on. i put on my old bondage jeans which i hardly wear anymore, and a button-up shirt and tie. i wish i could find my find my fedora, but i think it’s probably on top of a box somewhere, waiting to be found, and not for tonight. instead i part my hair down the center, and slick it to the side to get rid of my girly bangs. though, i did put on a lacy bra, because i wanted enough of the boy to shine through as well as the woman underneath. i want to be neither one or the other but both at the same time, which was the same reason i stepped into my strap-on and adjusted it just before donning the jeans.

i smirk as i look in the mirror, reaching down to adjust my silicone-hard cock, the outline of which is visible against my denim-covered thigh. i lick my lips, try out looks at myself in the mirror, find one that is a suitable “i’m going to make you do me” look, a look that, even though it’s my reflection, makes me melt a little as i look at myself. all i can think of is “damn i’m hot” and “damn, -this- is going to be hot.”

i go, now impatient, upstairs, turn the corner, the other, see you sitting on our bed, reading a book. i paste on the look i practiced in the mirror and strut casually into the doorframe, leaning against it, waiting until you notice me. i see the look of shock and surprise, and that only causes me to lift my chin a little higher, cast a more hardened look at you, my lips threatening to curl into a smile. i can already feel my cunt getting wet between my legs, the feel of the cock already growing familiar instead of foreign.

instead of saying anything i move over towards you, standing next to the bed, and take your hand, with a tiny smile. i slide your fingers against the cock, and somehow the feeling is electric inside of me. i can feel the silicone attached to me, as if it were my own. i smirk at you, wiggle my eyebrows, just once, in an expectant silent command. i watch as your surprise turns into interest, and then excitement. I reach over and slide my fingers against your own cock through your jeans.

i move a leg up onto the bed, parting my thighs, the cock between my legs adjusts and i move my hands to my crotch, undoing my pyramid studded belt, unbuttoning and unzipping the pants slowly, and pulling out my hard black silicone cock. i bend over, my breasts pressing against the fabric of my shirt as i do, and i kiss you, hard, insistantly, tongue probing your mouth, almost reversing roles, though knowing they aren’t really changed. i break the kiss, look into your eyes and grin mischieviously, then tug your lips down, the book in your hands forgotten on the other side of the bed, your lips moving towards my hard cock, watching as your tongue slides against it. i can’t help but groan at the sight of it, and at the same moment your lips engulf the tip of my attached erection.

i lick my lips and watch as you play with my fake cock, wondering why i hadn’t done this sooner. you look so hot with my cock in your mouth. i slide my fingers into your hair and groan again, watching you as you start to slide your lips down the length, playing with it, teasing it as i often tease your cock. i can somehow feel your lips through the silicone, sending white hot shocks to my clit, feeling my cunt getting even wetter, and knowing that it’s delicious smell is seeping into the air.

you slide your fingers under my cock as you lick and suck at it, as i watch you. your fingers slip against the zipper of my jeans and find my hole even as you continue to lick at my length. i moan, loudly, as you slip a finger against my folds. the base of the cock and the leather of the harness rest against my mound, leaving my slit open, and my clit avaliable, and you realize this, sliding your finger up to find my aching clit, hot and burning with need. i buck my hips, causing the ever-hard shaft to jut into your mouth another inch, and i hear you groan.

your finger starts to rub, and i fight the urge to start fucking your face, jamming my cock down your throat, instead i just grip your head and buck against your mouth softly, shuddering as you easily bring me close to cumming, feeling the suction of your lips against the fake black cock. everything growing heightened, stiffened, aching, needy, and finally feeling the release i was craving, cumming hard against you.

you let me come down from my excitement, slipping your lips off my length, and i reach down to slide a finger against it, leaning down to kiss you sweetly, grinning against your lips, and knowing we’re not done yet.